Asklemmy

My mate’s little sister was sad and bemused one Christmas when their parents bought her a (single) Pom-pom. Why would you not buy a pair?

My mother-in-law gave me a booked called The Etiquette Edge which essentially explained how to be polite

Cop gave me a speeding ticket for my birthday. I'm counting it as a present because he said, "Happy Birthday" when he gave it to me.

A fruit roll up. Some time a few months before christmas, my sister and I were fighting over the last fruit roll up in the box. She got it initially, but I got it in the end. She put it in several boxes Matryoshka style, added weight making it seem heavier, wrapped it, and put it under the tree. Imagine my surprise, after going through several layers to find that fruit roll up. Worst. Christmas. Ever.

Not me but I was at a New Years Eve white elephant party where everyone brought something they were gifted but didn't want. Someone who had a relative that owned a video rental store (yeah 90's) brought a promotional press packet for a Steve Martin/Goldie Hawn movie. B&W glossy photos of the stars, photocopied excerpts of the script, bunch of crap stuffed into a cardboard folder. So basically they gifted their high end junk mail. As for me I got a flamingo costume

My weird alcoholic grandma that my dad doesn’t really talk to got me a shaving kit when I was 10.

A few years ago I went to visit my mom around Christmas, I picked her up and we were heading over to my grandmas. On the way, while my 1 year old is screaming in the back seat, she asked if she could run into a store on the way.

When we got to my grandmas she gave me the bag that she had just bought, store logo on it and everything, no hiding a thing, that contained 1 roll of camouflage themed duct tape, and a pack of trash bags.

I had told her earlier in the year that I was using trash bags and duct tape to block the windows in my garage while I was doing some renovations in there, and so she got me trash bags and duct tape, almost a year later...

I still appreciate that she got me anything at all and there was at least a thought behind it even if I don't understand that thought.

We had an optional secret santa in 5th grade, meaning no kid was forced to participate if they didn't want to. It ran the month of December, you were supposed to give 1 gift a week. The first week I got nothing. The second week I got a single marble. The 3rd week I got a single pencil. The 4th and final week I got a tin of Royal Dansk Danish butter cookies. As a 5th grader, it was the biggest fucking letdown, especially when all the other kids were getting candy, toys, etc, every week.

Missmatched socks.

Not just socks. Missmatched, ugly socks !

Someone sent me what they referred to as a self-help DVD that was just some motivational speaker type of person invalidating my issues. A virus in the DVD also temporarily destroyed my friend's DVD player in the process of playing it.

I've lucked out and haven't gotten anything that bad. My mother in law is weirdly obsessed with making sure everyone gets the exact same number of gifts so sometimes I get some truly random junk lol. She got me (or maybe my wife) a Toy Story 3 Pizza Planet branded Pizza... Maker? Idk. Imagine a waffle iron but for pizza. We have an oven. Idk. I guess it's for college kids in dorms without full kitchens? We just don't have the counter space for it. It's sat in the box. Our kitchen is very tiny. We already have a bunch of counter top appliances and don't have room for another. And why take it out of the box when we have an oven?

Life.

A fucking vacuum cleaner.

My aunt only ever knew one thing about me, that I grew up liking Harry Potter. First I got all the books, split across two years. Then I got all the movies as they came out, up to the 5th one. After that I was apparently too old for her to know what I liked, I got a gift card to a gas station for 3 years in a row. I mean hey $20 in gas wasn't a totally awful thing as a late teenager, so I guess it could have been worse.

My gran once gave me a toilet brush. The base had penguins floating in blue liquid, but it was ultimately just a cheap toilet brush.

I gave her a beautiful marble maze.

I didn’t bother after that.

One time my roommate gave me a welding starter set cuz he wanted to learn how to weld LOL.

Got the same crappy t-shirt several years apart from the same person.

Not the gift itself, but the response.

First of all, even before Christmas I said I'd prefer NO GIFTS at all. Regardless, my dad got me some inkjet HP printer. I thanked him for it, but asked him that we'd return it. I tried to be respectful, but regardless, he got mad at me and didn't talk with me for like 2 days.

Later he sent me the money for it and asked me to buy something for it and show him what it was. I do not know why I couldn't just keep it as extra money, but oh well, it had to be spent on something.
I got a refurbished ThinkPad for that. Pretty good device, by far beating value of HP inkjet. I even got it with a 2 year warranty (without extended) like with a new device, while only 1 year is required.

A tri-fold wallet. It was a good wallet, and I appreciated the gesture. It's just that I HATE tri-fold wallets.

So I’m a trans guy and as a kid I was very obviously masculine, stereotypical tomboy. One of my aunts that married into the family gave me, maybe around age 5-7, a toy makeup kit. To this day I don’t know wtf she was thinking, because it wasn’t like she never met or saw me. Was it thoughtless or passive aggressive? Who can say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯