No Stupid Questions

Stuffed and mounted in a ferocious pose. Hide me in the closet of someone you don't like.

I want my skin and muscle tissue removed, and then I would like to be shot into space.

It's playing a long con, and I might fall into a star before I ever get the chance, but it would be really funny if some space explorer encountered a floating human skeleton and got spooked.

I've always thought sky burials are pretty cool, but as a person living in North America who has no plans to move to Tibet or take up Buddhism, that's completely impractical. Next best thing might be for my to be placed on a body farm.

Just throw my body in the trash. And no religious burial. I'll be damned if some pastor who doesn't know shit about me give an hour long eulogy about Jesus over my corpse.

I want to be explosively shot into space go back to being stardust.

Harvest for transplant whatever organs I haven't managed to destroy and then put my ass in one of these. And if I am lucky enough to still have any money at all by then, please bury it in the Pacific Northwest.

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https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2023/05/25/coffins-made-from-mushrooms-cost-availability/70255979007/

I’d like to be put into a meat grinder and fed to a critically endangered species so the earth has an opportunity to say fuck you to humans

I took up enough precious space on this bitch of an Earth in life, so my only wish is to take up as little of it as possible in death.

No giant overpriced wooden box in a concrete case on a dedicated plot of land, filled with fanciful linens to wrap my lifeless husk specifically treated to rot away as slowly as possible. Not if I get a say. Burn my dead ass to ashes and preferably scatter them to the wind, I don't care where. Or, as a wise Danny DeVito said, throw me in the trash. Nature will have its way with what's left. I'm crumbling to entropy anyway, might as well get it over with as efficiently as I can.

I will not ""become"" a tree, or ""return to"" anyplace. I want to be gone. My lease on this world is over. I explicitly want that lease returned, to the fullest extent it matters.

Not like I'd necessarily get a say, though. Funerals and their rituals are for the living. The ultimate conclusion of my wish to command nothing of the world after I'm gone is that I also can't command what happens to my remains after I'm gone. I can express my wishes, but if no one agrees to honor them, so be it.

If my loved ones want to stuff my corpse in a monkey suit and bury it in an expensive box on a dedicated plot of land for 100 years because that's how they want to greive my passing, who am I to stop them? I'm dead.

I don’t personally care. Burials and other ceremonies are for the living. I’d prefer something that doesn’t harm our environment and to donate as many organs as possible, but that’s pretty much it.

I like what you said about being a tree. I may steal that.

I don’t have kids. I plan to leave my assets to a charity. Probably something for animals but I haven’t really planned that far ahead yet.

Resurrected or uploaded.

Bury me "buns-up" in a sidewalk downtown so someone has a place to park their bicycle.

Strip me for parts and give the rest to science. I'm not real sentimental about my body once I'm done with it.

Scatter my remains across Disney World, although I don't want to be cremated.

install doom on me

Something cheap for my family.

If I had my way about it, I'd have a tree planted over me, but I don't expect to know the difference, so I don't really think about it much.

If you want to be a tree, go cremation. Trees get their carbon from the air not the soil.

Cremate me and grind my ashes into small particles.

Then take those ashes and mix them into dark spices like pepper as a filler. Sell it to the general population.

I will be vored. I will be inside you. I will become part of you. You cannot stop this.

I found a service that will mix your ashes in concrete and make you into an artificial reef. I like the idea of getting coral and sea fans to grow on me.

I'm an organ donor, but I suspect my organs won't be worth much by the time I'm done with them.

viking style. I want to be pushed out to sea on a magnificent hand-crafted canoe. Then someone is going to shoot a flaming arrow into my canoe and I'll go out in a blaze of glory. No one said you can't request this and I think it would be pretty sweet. Needs instrumental accompaniment.

THROW ME IN THE TRAAAASH

Donate my body to science if possible, failing that, dispose of me in the most environmentally friendly way possible.

Once I am dead I have no care for my body, maximize the use of it or minimize the impact of it.

Ideally there would be no body to bury. Think about it, can you think of a boring way to die where your body is never found?

Of course i'm making sure my death will be adventurous by staying at my computer and never going outside. Totally won't die of a heart attack like a loser.

I've organised to have my body donated to a medical school for dissection. It was quite complicated, lots of forms to be filled in and witnessed. My executor has to phone the university when I die & they send a van to collect me. They won't accept my body if I've died of something communicable, or it was eg some accident that left me too mangled. When they're done with me I'll be cremated and my name goes up on a plaque in a special garden.

I would like to remain dead

Green burial. No preservatives, no permanent structures, just natural decay and completing the circle of life. Don't pickle me for a funeral just get me in the ground asap.

Fuck it, I wanna be cryogenically frozen, if I can have the chance of living hundreds of years in the future, no matter how slim, I'd rather be prepared.

Dump my ashes into Mariana's Trench. That way I can contribute to the local ecology...somehow.

Make me and my partner a tree, set up a hammock between us, and hang with us from time to time

Very honestly, since I was a child I wanted to be burned to a point where the flesh is gone but the bones are still intact and have the bones buried.

I think it is even possible to do that in Austria but I live in Germany and obviously no one is going to spend time, money, and energy on these shenanigans once I am dead. But if I could selfishly wish for a way, this would be it. There are reasons for why I don't want to be buried and why I don't want to be cremated and this would feel... The rightest.

I would like someone to rent a tree spade, one if those trucks that can pick up a mature tree with its root ball, pick up a nice tree, wrap me in linen, throw me in the hole, and drop the tree back into the hole on top of me.

The matter that makes up my cells has been going through the cycle of life for god knows how long. All I know is I’ll be pissed if that cycle is cut off to isolate that matter in a metal box in the ground.

Prop me up beside the jukebox.