So I tried to take steps to try improve myself and I have been able to sort of come up with something where I do daily tasks and over the weekend take it easy.
Basically, light meditation, some positive words to myself, exercise, journalling, consistent self-care and reading
I have made it to 7 days so far with me being able to complete the tasks I have been setting for myself.
However as a concequence of journalling out stuff, I have been confronted with an area of my life that I have not let vent out properly. It's its own monster of sorts that feels like it is consuming my thoughts as I relive and try come to terms with past events that leave me with realising how deep the regret and anger I have kept underwraps.
How that part of my life had some effect in disrupting my academic prospects as I let it thrown me off enough that I ended up dropping out in frustration of falling behind and also how I listened to someone ask that I do not do something I wanted to do, but out of respect to them I ended up regretting not doing it.
It is has the disruptive flow to things as it boils off and simmers as something I am having difficulty trying to come to terms with
Before I get too off track and devolving into that, I'll refocus towards what I wish to ask.
Is there resources or a social group where one can join that can act like an accountability group of sorts as I fear that what I am doing now will eventually hit a wall where I fall off and linger into bad habits again.
I know I have been driven to do the tasks on a day-to-day basis, but I already have days where it is hard to do it and I sort of just get through things out of a stubborness to tick off a box with a clean conscious, but I fear that I can only do so much on my own steam with the concern that I might need someone to help "revive the battery" if it runs low
I cannot rely on anyone that I know and I get people have their own lives but the I have tried reaching out to people that I trust and I only had one help, but they are an unreliable source of help( not in a bad way) as they can only really listen when they have time for it as they live in a different timezone and they keep a busy life schedule so asking for help is not something is readily available.
The other people I have tried have yet to really show in interest in communicating.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the person who was trying to help me and coincidentally also put the framework in place for the idea for the routine has also recently cut me off as well so I cannot look towards them for assistance either.
Mentioning that as I feel alone in this and have concern that I will relapse if I try to work on my "strength" alone