this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
223 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12272 readers
1734 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They tried doing it with blinkers but none of their drivers noticed

[–] Captnkrk69@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago
[–] JoMomma@lemm.ee 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was charged 150$ to enable the recording feature of the local, built in cameras on my car... All the recording happens locally and nothing is sent to the cloud... Literally paid to use what I already had... Yay capitalism

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 2 months ago

and you paid for it 🤦‍♂️

[–] Xeroxchasechase@lemmy.world 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Next it'll be ABS and seatbelts

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

BMW, soon: "Warning - you are almost out of your free braking credits for this month! Purchase additional BMW Premium Gems that can be exchanget for braking credits at the rate of 13.7 to 1 and into acceleration credits at the rate of 12.864 to 1 now, or activate the Braking Unlimited subscription to receive unlimited braking credits and a chance to win 4 free hours of air conditioning!"

[–] nehal3m@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

MBA mode: Why is accelerating more expensive than braking? Let's flip that pricing around! Let people put the pedal to the metal and then gauge out their eyes when they realize they will need to stop!

[–] Xeroxchasechase@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Subscrptio automatically activated and charged if the car detect an emergency. Codified by the bipartisan bill: "Kids road safty and protection act"

[–] x4740N@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

KRSPA

Needs some word starting with y at the end and it could become KRSPAY

[–] sndmn@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 months ago

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

The porcupine has its pricks on the outside.

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As I said elsewhere, 🖕 BMW

Not like I'd ever own their overpriced garbage in the first place. I've worked on them (since the 70's), they're over-hyped trash from a durability standpoint. And how they put things together makes maintenance a nightmare.

They could learn a lot from Japan, who's worst brands are far better

[–] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Any observations on Mercedes and Audi?

[–] Glifted@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Allegorical, but I have 2008 Mercedes C300 (W204). I purchased it in 2017 with 90k miles and I'm currently at 190k. It's still my daily driver and overall I remain pretty happy with it.

The tl;dr of this car has been toyota-like reliability with maintenance/repairs being uncommon but more costly when they need to be done. I wouldn't assume my experience is indicative of Mercedes overall.

I'm not a mechanic but I am an engineering technician and test driver in automotive T&V

[–] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

I’ve also heard stories of a Mercedes giving you 1 000 000 km (or 1 Gm) as long as you take good care of it.

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 months ago

The Germans can build motors that will go for a million miles, but they can't connect 2 wires together without causing the entire vehicle to become a rolling dumpster fire. The more tech and the more options on your German vehicle, the more you are asking for pain.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

All the luxury German brands are great cars until the warranty runs out.

After that, the car will last as long as your bank account can hold a comma.

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago

Changed the battery on my friends BMW it just took removing 5 parts/covers/crossbar, 16 bolts, 2 clips and the battery was ONLY 350$. German engineering at its finest!

Everyone told him not to buy it he did it anyway.

Oh, I almost forgot his gas pedal keeps unclipping from the bottom when there is a bit of sand or rocks on the carpet. Told him to press from the bottom instead of the top so it stays clipped but does he listen !

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well to their credit I was never considering a BMW in the first place because to me personally I just don’t see the value of the offerings.

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Because you're not blinded by ego.

What BMW owners think they have:

The envy of all other drivers on the road.

What they actually have:

An overpriced four wheeled trash can.

[–] Tacos_y_margaritas@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 2 months ago

I never thought I would be happy to own a 2012 car with over 100k miles but here we are.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago

Last tweet:

“The suspension is killing me”

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 10 points 2 months ago

Remember when BMW got shit for a subscription for heated seats? Subaru has been doing that shit for some time now.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 months ago
[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

kill it with fire

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Oh I cannot wait to hear about this on ATP.

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world -1 points 2 months ago

I'd rather invest in a Tacoma.