It's about what I would expect from the kind of person who buys squeezy jelly.
this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition
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I buy squeeze jelly because the campus-affiliated market that I have a meal plan for only sells jelly in squeeze bottles. Though it's nice how it saves a spoon, it's a bit of a pain to operate. Especially the grape flavor.
Shake the everliving shit out of it beforehand. Get all your aggression out. And if it's still being ornery, squeeze from the wide side.
A... A spoon? Why not use the knife you're using for the peanut butter?
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It's Welch's though which actually tastes good and IIRC is owned by a growers collective not a megacorp.
Found this
National Grape Cooperative Association, a co-op of grape growers, since 1956
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GRAPE-jelly in a squeezy, ketchup-style plastic bottle mixed with plastic bottle peanut butter in a standard-issue IKEA bowl, only then applied between two non-wholegrain, untoasted toasts.
Can someone add a YEAH, a guitar, an eagle and the US-American flag as effects?
Nope, that's not American traditional, and you can't put that concoction on us.
Also, it's really a stretch to call peanut butter "infamous sugar cream". It's got like 3g of sugar per 30g peanut butter. That's pretty close to just plain peanuts. It's not Nutella with it's 50% sugar content.
You avoid eating too much peanut butter because peanuts are basically little nuggets of oil with the minimum amount of fiber and protein required for them to be a solid.
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Do you toast your pbj bread? Before or after you apply the pbj?
Not op, but absolutely yes. Toast first, apply PB and J while still warm. If you have a toaster oven, stack the bread so the inside stays soft but warm.
Just like witn fried PBJ, you should use less PB than usual, it can get larynx glueingly sticky if you use too much, ask me how I know. Self heimlich is worth knowing.
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I put some peanut butter on each slice, to “waterproof” it before applying the jelly. That way, the bread doesn’t get soggy and gross.
That’s as advanced as I get with my PB&J engineering. Forget this mixing nonsense.
Just toast the bread a bit
I've found that gets rid of the gentle softness that I'm wanting out of a PBJ.
Grilled peanut butter sandwich is great though, but jelly demands soft and cold.
I love a grilled PB+Banana. Like a grilled cheese, fried in butter. They're fantastic!
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Wouldn't be surprised if it actually changed the flavour a bit.
That's one way to make the "secret sauce" for burgers. Just ketchup, yellow mustard, mayo and sometimes relish. Mixing them before adding to the burger changes the taste considerably.
My grandma used to mix the PB & J together for me when I was a kid because I didn't like peanut butter. I still kinda like it that way because it reminds me of her.
That sounds like a completely acceptable reason to me! Grandmas are awesome!
Smucker's Goober be like...
Some mechanical engineer went to a lot of effort to make that shit dispense into the jar in a stripey pattern instead of letting it mix.
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This pic is some dystopic stuff. How can you eat those fake mixtures full of chemistry? Is this what people in USA eat? Even the bread looks like it would never spoil.
https://www.labeladvisor.com/showproduct/?id=31393§ion=ingredients
The palm oil is a problem ecologically, but healthwise is actually pretty decent as far as common fats go.
The bread is a shame and there's a lot higher quality available, same with jelly, though the squeeze bottle is convenient.
This kinda bread goes bad in about a week if kept air tight, or a few hours if left out.
https://www.welchs.com/fruit-spreads/concord-grape-jelly/
The jelly is made with corn syrup, but otherwise doesn't contain "scary chemicals". It contains pectin, citric acid, and sodium citrate, which are completely natural things to be in jam or jelly. Pectin is traditionally boiled from apples, citric acid traditionally comes from lemons, sodium citrate is essentially just lemon juice and baking soda.
The only dystopian bits are the corn syrup and the scale these foods are made at. Calling them "fake mixtures full of chemistry" just makes it sound like you don't know that all food is chemistry.
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No one does this. The person who posted that was just trying to make trouble
My father did this when I was growing up all the time
Yeah he did that right after he came back from getting some milk from the store.
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When we had field trips in early grade school, this is how they served the supplied PB&J's. I guess it kept the jelly from soaking into the bread while the sandwiches sat in a cooler for 4 hours.
Yup, it's better for when it's gonna be sitting
Source: I've eaten an ungodly amount of PBJs in my life
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the real crime is using sugary peanut butter in a PB&J
it's so much better with regular peanut butter, the jelly is already sweet enough. I'm convinced people who use sugary peanut butter in PB&J just want candy.
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now sell it for 18 usd in a café
Not a crime. I used to mix peanut butter in my low fat, unflavored, Greek yogurt and then mix in jam. I did this after weight training as a high protein breakfast. The jam just added some flavor and sweetness.
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I'll do this every once in a while, this person hardly used any peanut butter though. Either that or the dye in his jelly is crazy, cuz when I do it it ends up looking like a slightly darker peanut butter. Unless I don't mix it enough? Cuz I like leaving little clumps of jelly. But then yeah, you just dip little bits of bread, or crackers, or if you're as insane as I am you just eat it like a snack.
Know what's REALLY insane though? Mixing cottage cheese and applesauce. That shit is delicious.
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I did this when Smucker's "Goobers" first came out and my mom wouldn't buy it.
It's just a waste of time; doesn't affect the taste. It is however better than Goobers; it's super weird and almost plastic tasting. They did something to the jelly and use an almost candy-like peanut butter that makes it worse than the cheapest individual PB & J's. Absolutely hated it when I finally got to try it.
I do this - it makes it taste better if you emulsify the jelly into the peanut butter. Qualitative differences ftw!
Skip the jam and mix peanut butter with maple syrup. Works better on pancakes but in a pinch toast will do
A crime because they're not using strawberry.
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