this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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InsanePeopleFacebook

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Sovcit's employer is confused by sovcit. (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to c/insanepeoplefacebook@lemmy.world
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[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 71 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Hey all, hoping for some advise [sic] and direction here.

I was out on the lawn flapping my arms for about an hour, but I still wasn’t flying. I told gravity that as a supersentient being of virtue true I was no longer constrained by any mechanics quantum or admantium.

I think I got off the ground a couple of times, but obviously gravity can’t understand what I’m saying or else I’d be over Des Moines by now. My FreeFlight™ air wings have been ordered but I should still be able to defeat the laws of physics with my Natural Brane, right? Anyone done this already who can help??!

[–] sheepy@lemm.ee 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Ah, it's because you haven't read my book "Newton's Lie: How Big Gravity is Keeping Us Down". It's only $199.99 on my website. You'll also get a 50% discount for a subscription to my monthly podcast "What Birds Don't Want You To Hear", so it'll only be $39.99 per month.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Those are great resources. Just don't forget to come to my website where I sell all the parts for firearms, bombs, and stills but no firearms, bombs, or stills to purchase the paperwork you need to fly over the US as a Natural Flyer. We prepare it all for you so that you don't have to worry.

[–] federalreverse@feddit.de 3 points 6 months ago

If Big Gravity didn't illegally hold down the truth, your book would fly off the shelves (literally).

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 6 months ago

Wow, you really nailed the tone and language.

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 8 points 6 months ago

You actually were flying over Des Moines. Your brane just wasn't ready to see it yet. Keep working on it. Gravity isn't holding you back at all. It's just the conditioning you've been brainwashed with.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Lmao

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 48 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Advice sovcit received in the comments of crazy:

[–] xionzui@sh.itjust.works 49 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I love the accusation of working in “legal fiction”

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago

Accountants are actually novelists and your tax returns are just a short story they write you, duh.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 35 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I love that part of the magical spell is always talking to whoever runs these mega corporations

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 16 points 6 months ago

It's like hallucinations from an LLM that was trained on lawyer infomercials from the 90's

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

CEOs love reading all the psychotic correspondence from sovcits.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 6 months ago

It's awesome how they offload a bunch of paperwork to others, involving the president of the institution and their HR department and who knows how many other people to deal with their crazy bullshit.

[–] slickgoat@lemmy.world 32 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I was there at the birth of the interwebs, also a very early adopter. Still, I never considered it to be a force multiplier for stupidity in the way things worked out. I went the other way, believing that it would harness humanity's genius.

I tend to be wrong a lot.

[–] fritobugger2017@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Letting all the village idiots get together and create echo chambers to support their idiocy was a bit of mistake, in hindsight.

[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 12 points 6 months ago

It also puts everyone on a level platform. A doctor that has been practicing for 20 years speaking about medical issues is placed right next to Joe Bob that keeps getting fired from every gas station in town, who also has his own thoughts on medical issues.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

I too was there, but it wasn't until the antivaxxers started on Livejournal that I realized how backwards things could get, that was 2006 or so.

[–] redisdead@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

The internet was fine until social media happened.

[–] Eylrid@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

It's both, really. It amplifies everything, both good and bad. There are a lot of amazing things that have come about because of the Internet, as well as a lot of awful shit. It's easy to overlook the good stuff and only see the shit.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 21 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

How do I get the taxes back that l've paid?

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I would be so embarrassed to bring my employer into this shit. Of course I wouldn't get into it to begin with, but I don't get how these people have no shame or sense of how they're coming across.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

I wish I heard stories of employers with sovcit employees.

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 2 points 6 months ago

They sincerely do not understand that their attempt at grifting is not based in reality.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I think this is the first of these I've seen with correct spelling and punctuation.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

The American state national ones seem an eensy bit more educated than the Moors. That does not make them smart though.

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 2 points 6 months ago

Not completely correct, but close enough as to come across as being a normal person.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 6 months ago

What's most frustrating (to me) is that they cost others money by making them pay lawyers to look at their bullshit paperwork and make sure they aren't liable. They already waste people's time. But the cost of a lawyer indemnifying them (the employer) is just disgusting.

[–] Crack0n7uesday@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

Mother fucker doesn't know how to put 0 on his W-2 and file your own taxes at the end of the year. Don't recommend it unless you really keep track of how much money you make and can pay the lump sum at the end of the year.