Chat

been really enjoying contributing and connecting on Beehaw and Lemmy in general. Trying to do some reading and playing through Diablo 4!

First week into rTMS treatment for depression. Been struggling a lot recently but know that I'll start feeling better in 2-3 weeks, so there's a light at the end of the tunnel (I've done this treatment 2x now, and know it really helps me... But only lasts 4-5 months).

Have a driving test tomorrow that would normally be a piece of cake, but I'm so depressed it's difficult to drive. This is the last possible test before I lose my license... I kept on putting it off (because, depression). Hoping I pass!

Not going well but I am not without hope either.

My mom didn't get approved for social assistance so I'm crunching numbers on our budget for the next month or so.

Brought out the instant pot and made some nice black beans, which I turned into black bean burgers. 😋

Switched from Pop OS to Linux Mint, liking the experience so far. Not as cute as Pop OS was, but I like the interface and the battery alerts and sound effects. So it's not bad.

The creeping despair cloud has come for me.

Pretty good! Started off with a morning at playcentre, afternoon doing a shift at the toy library, and finished off by giving a presentation at the community council meeting. Got my community garden proposal through to the next phase (regional council). Got overwhelming support from my presentation at the community council meeting and feeling really good about it. First structural edit meeting for the book I've been working on is Thursday and I'm really happy with how that's all going too. Early stages of getting a library of tools/community workspace organised.

Just in a really good place right now and I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere with my goals.

It's starting to get pretty hot where I live, gonna have to bust out the AC units soon at this rate.

Things are hard right now. Father’s Day is always rough. Taking summer term organic chemistry while working full-time is more than I can manage well. It doesn’t help that I sped through gen chem 2 in 6 weeks just prior to this.

I’m super burnt out and I don’t have a lot to show for the past sprint at work plus my first midterm is on Friday. This weekend was supposed to be productive but my brain has been on strike.

I did get some exercise in today and it did help a little but I’m nowhere near the capacity required.

I’m very grateful for my life and opportunities afforded to me and I really shouldn’t be complaining about relative non-issues but 🤷‍♂️

It's going alright! Just been relaxing since I graduated and will start my full-time gig next month, pretty excited about that. I'm also just curating my RSS feed cause I didn't realize how much I would love them so much lol. Loving Beehaw, lemmy and the lemmyverse in general!

i have a project at work and the guys i got it from somehow ended up adding like 3 other things to it.

the initial thing was they have a hydraulic valve that only has full open, full close actions. this open close action had no "automatic" speed control of fluid so they want a valve that has proportional control. (open 10%, for example.) somehow, there's a $25k machine being added in front of the work i was supposed to do so now instead of just adding a valve, i'm adding a valve and adopted a whole automated process on a machine build in 1950, and a controller technology from 1987.

we dont have all the parts. supply chains suck ass. obviously the controller from 1987 is discontinued so im mixing new tech and old tech with half ass communication and there's another project im finishing for someone that moved up, trying to translate prints from a whole rebuild of something coming up on a july 4th shutdown event and it's really stressful.

i'm a relatively new tech and there's a handful of engineers that stare at contractors all day, walk around and try and determine downtime causes and other useless bullshit that can be solved by someone with less of an education, and im supposed to respond to breakdowns, train a new guy, still learn myself, and work on projects that cost $100,000 in parts and labor that these guys should be working on instead of wasting the time they're doing now.

i love doing what im doing but i literally cant do all the things that's being expected. thanks for listening.

Fucking ugh. This week is just ugh. Our landlady has brain cancer (our rent is currently about half what apartments are going for in our city, they doubled during covid) and I'm not sure if she's passed or not but her adult son has taken over the building with his wife and as of Tuesday have given us notice that at the end of the month we'll get a letter giving us 60 days to move out (month to month lease). We just had a second child in January. They're kicking us out with a five month old so they can renovate our apartment and charge double.

So instead of paying a ridiculous amount to rent somewhere again we're attempting to buy a house, but the housing market up here is super tight and they're all going way over asking price within days. I don't know what we're gonna do if we can't find something suitable in the next week or two so we have time to get this all done in time to move. We do have really good credit and enough to close, but finding one that isn't a failed flip or looks like it's from the 70s or isn't snatched up immediately is wearing on me.

Everything needs to line up and it's just not right now. I haven't cried yet so I guess that's alright.

It's been busy and stressful at work as the directors have decided to throw lots of deadlines at me just as my colleague is leaving, so I'm pretty much on my own. I'm on top of things so far but waiting for the shoe to drop. Decided to get a ps5 at last though so looking forward to playing Skyrim again after work. Should get it Thursday and I'm more excited than a 30 something should be!

I've been doing a lot of software interview prep, so much that I haven't done any "real" programming in a minute, which I miss. I don't really have any ongoing side projects at the moment so I've just been coming up with ideas and seeing how far I can scope them out before running into a wall. So far it's been mostly walls.

I've also been working towards getting myself medical coverage so I can get officially diagnosed with ADHD (or whatever I've got going on) and hopefully get on some medication. I've just been really feeling the struggle these days and I know I can't put off learning how to live with the way my brain works any longer, especially through the bleak slog that is the job hunt in 2023.

It's been a pretty decent week for me. I am enjoying that Beehaw is low enough traffic still that it's quite possible to read through all the new local post titles as they come in. It's fun watching the community grow. Reminds me a bit of early Twitter days when the entire global timeline was small.

Back in the real world, I got two days out at Lake Patoka over the weekend, and I'm off tomorrow morning for two days backpacking in the Shawnee NF. Gotta enjoy this good weather while I can!

I've had a great week, for the most part. Making progress on my mental health through very unconventional means, and feeling happier for a change. Possible job interview this coming Saturday, so we'll see on that front. Health issues have prevented me from working for a while now, and I'm anxious about returning to the job market.

I'm having a hard time. I have really bad burnout to the point where I don't even want to smoke and do nothing. I feel like a drone. Gardening has been really helping though. Had to bring my plants inside and put them under lamps since it's so hot outside.

I'm having (or am going to have) some pretty serious personal issues, so that's pretty bad.
But on the bright side, I had fun playing DnD on the weekend and I opened my first ever open source PR on Lemmy

I celebrated Juneteenth with a friend by going to the city, visiting a cool history exhibit, getting sandwiches and boba, and walking 11k steps!

Also played in a DnD session and GMed for another one, which was fun.

Currently relaxing in an all inclusive. Will be staying here until Tuesday next week.

Halfway thru another philosophy post but a busy weekend pulled me away from it. Been thinking I might want to chill on it for a little though, with things slowing down and settling a bit nicer.

A person who is lovely and magical and moved away last year is coming down to visit, so I'll be hosting and hopefully cuddling in just a few hours - I'm looking forward to spending what little time of theirs I'll get when they're around.

This last weekend I got out and danced twice, spent time with partners including one I haven't seen in almost a month, finally got connected with the right person to discuss everything that went wrong with my 2 surgeries and care coordination, went to a show my nesting partner and her partner played, and some other stuff I probably forgot.

This week I'll be moderating a panel speech, and then professionally speaking myself. This weekend is pride in SF, so it's jam packed with shows and parties. I'm guessing I'll probably be sick next week because I'll be spending a lot of time partying and being around a lot of people in crowded spaces dancing and having fun.

Been comfortably cooped up with my gf for the weekend. Life's been chill.

Our rent skyrocketed so we've been looking to move, and after a hectic week of making appointments, going to showings, and all that unpleasantness, we found a great new place today! We really lucked out in a lot of ways to get this place. The icing on the cake is that it's about two blocks away from my work. I also made quite a bit of progress on one of my side projects earlier in the week. So in all, a busy week but a good one :)

That's great!

I'm doing okay.

After 8 tumultuous months of hell, I can finally see the horizon. California sober now (weed), and have a great-paying job that'll eventually lead me to working with the CEO of the company directly (instead of distributing their products).

Had to fall not once, but twice to get my shit together. Slowly, but surely. Then I see my success only going up from here.

It’s summer here, and El Niño is coming, so I’m in a constant state of climate induced despair and panic. It’s my big trigger. I see one bad news story and my brain runs down all the possible avenues about how we are all going to die and how my son’s life is going to be terrible and I’m horrible for having brought him into this world and everything is falling apart and it all sucks now.

But I just started playing destiny 2, so that’s fun.

I am really enjoying Beehaw, it's a lovely place. I am optimistic for the fediverse stuff, I've been having a great time here mostly and other places, too. No shortage of things to read or links to visit.

I have been playing Subnautica obsessively. I feel like I'm making breakthroughs where I was too scared to progress for while. Finally not as scared, it's weirdly therapeutic.

Also, we finally hit 70 degrees F for the first time this summer this weekend here in Anchorage AK, it's nice while it lasts. Cool summer feels like a return to normal, though the pessimist in me thinks it's like false hope, given how we've had such weirdly hot summers these last few years.

I went to a second public meeting about how our small community is going to combat youth violence. This series of meetings was prompted after a recent highschool graduate was shot by police.

The first meeting was attended largely by religious leaders who also engage in violence prevention in a nearby city as well as local leaders and school administration. Most of the discussion centered around the causes of young people carrying guns, youth violence, and criminality.

The second meeting was local leaders from various groups and schools discussing strategies of keeping young people engaged and away from violent and criminal behavior as well as how they can coordinate with each other to best share their resources.

I had volunteered to give a short talk about online reselling as a form of legitimate side income to the financial literacy class for young people, however the class was postponed due to the meetings.

It's great. Excited for Final Fantasy 16. Gonna be a long week, especially since I didn't get the day off today.

4 day work week starts tomorrow! Woo for short weeks!

Been doing some gardening, but I'm so awful at it that even my mint plants are struggling. : /

There has been thunderstorms here almost every day since last week, and one of those thunderstorms was making the sky look like a rave. Aside from that, my week's been going good.

Not the best, but so far from the worst.
Work-wise, it's slowly starting to fall apart, so I'm also slowly starting to look for something else - I don't want to jump on the first opportunity I find so I fear it'll be a long process... We'll see.

Friends-wise, I've made some real connections over the past few weeks/months and I'm really happy with where I'm at. With how socially anxious I am, it hasn't been been easy... but am I glad I got out of my comfort zone!

Otherwise, it's Final Fantasy XVI release week and I can't wait for thursday :)

Pretty good, finally went through with trading in my ridiculous Shelby Mustang ( I loved it! until I had to drive it everyday) on a more adult and less spine wrecking Giulia, still a very fun and cool ride, just much more mature and tame. Also knocked my debt down a significant chunk. I'm shocked at how responsible I'm being, at least as responsible as buying an Italian sports sedan can be. If I made a mistake it wasn't as big of a mistake as the other guy there buying a brand new Maserati. =)

Also it's got real wewd on the dash and a cream interior which makes me feel like a fancy boy and I know I can modify it at some point unlike the Shelby, which is something I missed, I love tinkering with my cars.

Also finalized everything for my new gig, excited to get to work there and make some money again.> night

My mother blew up at my dad for not being able to wave a wand and get her Alfa fixed, the usual little electrical gremlins with fancy cars, nothing serious but it totally fucked my dads day up. Makes me realize why I avoid close relationships in my life, wish I knew how to get over that.

My week has been a mixed bag. Spending a lot of time with my family (been great!), but having to spend a lot of money to have some big (and old/rotting/dangerous) trees cut down has been more stressful than I expected.

Work as an RN in a small rural hospital so I see code blues here and there. The other night another RN calls a code blue on a patient that went into sustained vfib/vtach. I was second in to the room and the patient looks like they are seizing. I think their heart has stopped at this point.

I have my gloves on and I am just waiting to see if they are pulseless (couldn't tell if they were breathing being on bipap already). They all of a sudden start talking to the primary RN and snap out of the dangerous heart rhythm on their own.

That patient was a second or two away from having a 300lb man forcibly compressing their chest to keep their blood pumping.

just finishing up studying for my final exam on monday, been having particular trouble with this one- something about calculus is just reeaaaaally boring for me, it’s been a struggle to stay focused.

Well Beehaw has been a lot of fun. though I dont feel like i fit in, I'm learning a bunch. Just in a weird place. Im learning Jetpack compose with kotlin and although im understanding everything. i feel like a loser, and imposter syndrom. there is no way Im smart enough to code and develop applications. Im pretty much only skilled at delivering bear minimum stuff. My wife and I decided to try for a baby, but so far we've only managed to argue about petty things that dont matter.

Things are just weird because theres so much uncertainty in the next few months of where we will be. I just need to lead with my head on strait.