this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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Let me Introduce you to TOYS by James Patterson and the actual author, Neil McMahon. If you're a struggling writer who thinks their manuscript is just not good enough to ever be published, I encourage you to go to your local used bookstore or Goodwill and just randomly open a page to this steaming pile of words.
It wants to be hot shit on a silver platter. It's actually a cold turd on a paper plate. It wants to be a futuristic James Bond, but it can't even manage to be Bill Cosby's Leonard, Part Six
Just open a random page, read a couple of paragraphs, and be inspired that some asshole wrote it, some asshole edited it, and some asshole published it.
It is just god-awful. I love it so much.
When I was 11 years old and naive, I loved the Maximum Ride novels. But even at that age I could tell somebody was phoning it in for those novels. I still fantasize about what a competent (or even just attentive) writer could have done with that story! It could have kicked ass