I hate getting books for Christmas in general because I'm such a mood reader, and I've plastered a fake smile on my face many a time and repeated internally 'Its the thought that counts.' as I unwrap a book I will not read.
But the worst one by far, given to me by my own Mother , who I know loves me, when I was fourteen years old! was >!Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.!< I am sitting there horrified thinking what is she trying to tell me? As my sisters are flat on the floor laughing to the point of puking. We eventually came to the conclusion she just saw an attractive cover on a bestseller table and grabbed it. Love to know your terrible gift stories.
I had a stint in eating disorder treatment right before Christmas one year as a teenager. A couple in my extended family, who I have little in common with and don't know very well, got me an ENORMOUS book of "positive thinking" platitudes. Genuinely it was ~500 pages of the kind of corny quotes you see MLM types post on Instagram ripped from their original context. I tried to comb through it to find something of value but not a single quote meant anything to me. A lot of them were religious too, and I am not religious- the atheism of my immediate family is actually a huge source of drama in the extended family so that was awkward.
I ended up giving it away to a book donation drive shortly after. They really did mean well and I appreciated the thought, but it also showcased the ignorance that my family had around the situation in an uncomfortable way...
Side story: one friend’s father was recovering from Big C surgery and being grumpy. Someone gifted him “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handly. He laughed so hard he almost hurt himself.
“It’s a shame how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.”
My favourite Jack Handy was 'People think clowns are funny but I don't. In fact, I think they're kind of scary. I think it's because when I was a child, a clown killed my dad.'
Probably not remembering it exactly right but I laughed so much.