this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2023
415 points (96.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43816 readers
949 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago" - Alan Watts
This one is a bit hard-won for me. You see I used to be an asshole. It was my brand. I thought "it's just in my nature".
Fortunately, I was also a student of religion (mostly because I was a militant atheist. Know your enemy and all that). Studying Buddhism, I began to observe the nature of self. I found enough distance from it to see its transient nature.
I realized being an asshole was a choice and I could just as easily choose otherwise. Soon I began to discover this was true of most character traits.
I'm not saying you don't have consistent patterns of behavior. I'll hopefully always be curious and analytical. But for the most part, the way you conduct yourself and where you focus your attention is a choice.
So, if you're not happy with who you are maybe don't be so attached to the idea of 'who you are". And if that seems hard, observe what you pay your attention to and try to find the distance between observation and behavior. In that gap lies the choice you make, consciously or not, to be "you".
No offense, brother, but this is a great example of my swear-by.
Don't write a "wall of text." Even if a reader is interested, it's hard to read the whole thing.
Separate your wall into smaller sections, use bullet points (esp at work) if it helps.
Use small sentences. Forget what they told you about keeping similar ideas in one paragraph. You're not Salinger, and no one is expecting you to be.
This is a digital age, and our job as not-salinger is to convey information.
No offense taken
These are salient points
I edited my post
I hope it's easier to digest now
Thank you for the constructive criticism