this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
308 points (92.5% liked)

Not The Onion

11845 readers
599 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Former President Trump said he wants President Biden to be drug-tested before their first debate.

“I’m gonna demand a drug test too, by the way,” Trump said at the Minnesota Republican Party’s Lincoln Reagan Dinner Friday. “I am, no I really am. I don’t want him coming in like the State of the Union, he was high as a kite.”

Trump has previously stated in a radio interview that Biden was “all jacked up” at the beginning of his State of the Union address, as well as “higher than a kite.”

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 91 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Do the debates, and reveal the results of the drug test (taken by both candidates) DURING the debate. Let's do this shit like Maury.

[–] acetanilide@lemmy.world 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can Maury reveal it as well?? I would actually watch it then!

[–] nickhammes@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Can Maury moderate it? Bring in some family members before they reveal the test results, maybe some videos played to tell us a bit more about them

[–] acetanilide@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Perfect. And throw in a few surprise paternity tests at the same time

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Donald, you’re the father.

I’m sure he has at least a dozen illegitimate kids.

[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The best would be if he actually wasn't Baron's father...turns out Melania had a side piece, too.

Oh I meant like several dozen women come out with his illegitimate heirs, but that’d actually be pretty fuckin hilarious.

[–] gnate@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Hold on, we don't want him getting aroused.

[–] skygirl@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

I hate this but honestly it's the most truly American way to handle it so I say go for it.