The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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listing: all - local
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The one percent (www.youtube.com)
submitted 2 months ago by sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Trump Attempts To Soften Image With New Airbrushed JCPenney Beauty Shots (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
15 comments fedilink
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Corporation Boasts About How Diverse the Latest Round of Layoffs Are (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
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JD Vance Warns Millions Of Women May Vote Under Influence Of Menstrual Madness (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
30 comments fedilink
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Shitty Beard Barely Has Any Frolicsome Woodland Creatures Living In It (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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NASA Discovers Potential Life On Mars After Giant Eyeball In Middle Of Planet Looks Directly Into Telescope (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Dead Bird On Sidewalk Leads Man To Contemplate Own Inevitable Collision With Plate Glass (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Trump Accuses Kamala Harris Of Lying About Having Job At White House (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
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Shrinkflation Making It Impossible to Hide Razor Blades in Candy (hard-drive.net)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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Harrison Butker Insists He Won’t Let Politics Distract From Upcoming Race War (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
9 comments fedilink
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Both Campaigns Release Ads Showcasing Trump’s Most Racist Comments (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
35 comments fedilink
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Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote (youtu.be)
submitted 2 months ago by Maven@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network (www.youtube.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
 
 

In an appeal to the powerful voting block, Trump told a group of influential Amish megadonors that, if elected, he would make turning on the lights or plugging in an appliance a criminal offense.

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Report Finds Americans Need To Cut Emissions By 3% In Order To Tell Themselves They Did Their Best (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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McDonald’s praised for giving work experience to convicted felon (newsthump.com)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
20 comments fedilink
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Boomer Makes Sure to Have Most Annoying Ringtone Selected at Highest Volume Before Leaving House (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
15 comments fedilink
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Florida To Experiment With New 600-Lever Voting Machine (youtu.be)
submitted 2 months ago by fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
 
 

Every year.

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Elon Musk removes blocking feature so he can finally see what his kids post (chaser.com.au)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Nuclear Weapons Have The Potential To Frighten My Nervous Dogs (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Trump Releases Skull Measurements From Phrenology Exam (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
17 comments fedilink
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Pope Francis Excommunicates All Of World’s Catholics So He Can Have Quiet Weekend Alone (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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Trump Warns Antifa Will Put Voter Fraud in Your Kid’s Halloween Candy (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
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Kamala Harris Appears On White Noise Podcast In Appeal To Sleepy Voters (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
19 comments fedilink
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Trump: When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by restingboredface@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
34 comments fedilink
 
 

Thanks, Onion, that does make me feel better.

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