this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
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I'm honestly hesitant to post this here, but… the absolute ludicrosity compels me. How? How does he have the gall to say something like that? He ought to burst into flames on the spot.

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[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 97 points 1 year ago (1 children)

IDK, you could like, fucking, leave?

[–] winterayars@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago

At any time, even! Literally he could just tell his dudes to hit the bricks.

[–] donuts@kbin.social 60 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Tutorial: How Putin can stop the tragedy of war in Ukraine

  1. Pull troops out of Ukraine.
  2. Jump out of highest window in Moscow.
[–] Nougat@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

In that order.

[–] Treczoks@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

And pay reparations to Ukraine before jumping out of that window.

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

2 Isn't realistic

He'd never jump, it'd be an accidental fall with 2 gunshots in the back of his skull.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm, I wonder who can stop the war? Maybe the person who started it?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

But then he'd have to assassinate himself for saying he can't win the war!

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ya know what? I'd be okay with that. Be the first good thing he's done in ages.

[–] DarkenLM@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

So, just like a certain German dude?

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Assassinated by whom? Isn't he the leader of Russia? or is there someone in the shadows always wanting war for Russia and if the president dont support war, he is then replaced by another Russian?

[–] fosforus@sopuli.xyz 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean if this is his way of coping with his complete fuckup and preparing his people for the withdrawal, this might be a good thing. But I have to be a bit pessimistic that that is not where he's going with this.

[–] addie 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Where he's likely to be going with this is "war ends, but Russia gets to keep the territory they've illegally annexed". And that will not do. They stole Crimea; if they get to steal more, then they'll just be back again in a few years once they've licked their wounds. All territory must be returned to Ukraine, and then they can pay reparations and fuck off, and we'll welcome Ukraine into the EU and NATO so this shit never happens again.

[–] runiq@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago
[–] Truck_kun@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well that is the best of all worlds, I would settle for returning all Ukrainian citizens, leaving any Ukrainian land other than Crimea, and letting Ukraine join the EU & NATO.

There is real potential for Russia to lose Crimea at this point, and Ukraine hasn't had control of it in almost a decade, so their citizen's shouldn't be there at this point. I know it sucks to say give up Crimea, but for the sake of ending this war, and preventing any future war (EU/NATO membership), I don't think that is unreasonable at this point (of course, all matters are entirely up to Ukrainians, and anyone else has no right to make decisions regarding a concession - just my 2 cents, and I am plenty willing for my tax dollars to keep going to supporting Ukraine for as long as it takes).

[–] canis_majoris@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

Giving up Crimea is like, an apex Conservative taking point for compromising and ending the war. It's unacceptable, it was annexed illegally and it belongs to Ukraine and Ukraine alone.

[–] echodot 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think the opposition to the give up Crimea part is that Russia has to be demonstrated to demonstrably lose because of their actions. We need to prove that this empire building attitude is an attitude of ancient history and no longer works.

Rather like how Japan was made to give up territory in China at the end of the second world war.

If they are allowed to keep Crimea then there are some who will say that it's worth the risk because sometimes you're allowed to keep the territory.

I think Russia in general would be much more amenable to giving up Crimea if Putin wasn't around anymore. It's not really the world versus Russia it's the world versus Putin, it's not as if Russia has a democracy.

[–] _s10e@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

I mean if this is his way of coping with his complete fuckup and preparing his people for the withdrawal, this might be a good thing

This. He signals that he wants a way out.

Of course, he'll try to get or keep as much as possible, but saving face seems more important than victory. There's hope.

Maybe we can all agree to say on Russia TV that glorius Russia won.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 32 points 1 year ago

'We're all just trying to figure out who did this.'

[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

“Will no one rid me of this meddlesome myself?”

Well, it has been a political tragedy for him.

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 year ago

How about a classic "eat shit and die" strategy? I think it's perfect for the situation at hand, Mr. Cockmuncher.

[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

He should try gargling a Kalashnikov.

[–] bedrooms@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

nottheonion material

[–] Ulara@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 year ago

He has been trapped in the propaganda bubble and has become delusional as a result of it.

[–] manucode@infosec.pub 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why's there an empty ball pit in the middle of Putin's desk?

[–] CanadaPlus@futurology.today 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's how you can tell he's top dog. The balls are just out for cleaning.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 6 points 1 year ago

Unfortunately the war can’t end without them. He doesn’t have the balls to end the war respectfully.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Putin can make out with a firearm, I bet that would work.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] stardreamer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] lorez@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago
[–] echodot 8 points 1 year ago

Perhaps by "tragedy" he means how badly it's going.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

rings bell

Leave.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

“Give it to me now”

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] thanksforallthefish@literature.cafe 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] runiq@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you, internet thesaurus. English is not my native language.

[–] Tavonyms@mastodon.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] runiq@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

You're not wrong…