this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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What qualities do you covet?

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 20 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don't care if it's all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 13 points 4 weeks ago

What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.

I've met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.

The people who don't come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.

I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 4 weeks ago

Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.

I'm a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can't really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn't that daunting as it seemed to me.

It still not my biggest hobby yet I'm not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

I wish I was a dog for real.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

Honestly, I'm not even a furry but it has to be exhilarating to be a big wolf or cat.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Albbi@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll comment on this later.

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[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?

[–] Unknown_User12009@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 4 weeks ago

Ugh, I feel this. I'm just so done.

[–] Flax_vert 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (3 children)

I wish I was more Christlike.

No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can't deny that He is a pretty good role model.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuckin guy had balls of titanium. Could tell off the cops to their faces and walk away.

Though it did catch up with him.

[–] Flax_vert 5 points 4 weeks ago

I mean He did have the last laugh

[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a particular fan of the "flipping the tables of the vendors at the temple" behavior.

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[–] Corno@lemm.ee 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Be able to draw fast. I'm hilariously slow at drawing 😂

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 14 points 4 weeks ago

Stay out of the wild West

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 13 points 4 weeks ago

I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It's weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I'm charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I've managed now at every job I've held) and I'm a loving and supportive father. But deep down I'm still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.

I don't know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don't think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I'm so proud of her.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others

[–] Arcynic@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish I was worth peoples' time.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

You are! The people that make you feel you aren't, aren't worth your time 😉

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

I'm great, so I wish I had more money.

[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don't want to, it doesn't feel good to me. I'd rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?

[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

It's more to do with honesty. If the seller says it's worth this much and that's what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that's true because if it isn't, they're lying.

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[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish I didn't have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don't want to sell my mom's TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

I don't think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.

Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?

[–] Emi@ani.social 9 points 4 weeks ago

Wish I wasn't depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 9 points 4 weeks ago

Good health. But alas.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish I was more disciplined/focused.

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[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Today@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

This for sure! I didn't appreciate my knees enough when they worked better.

[–] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] LemmyBe@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.

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[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

I wish to know, what free will even is, and how it could be possible.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I seen a lot of people have this particular question and the question that I have for them is what isn't free will?

On the religious side you've got the people who are saying God knows everything so he already knows what you're going to do. On the science side you've got all humans are just chemicals in a hot dog casing.

My opinion is, either which way you look at it you are free to choose what you want to do.

Just because somebody can make you question the freedom of your choices does not mean that your choices are not born of free will.

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[–] Volkditty@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.

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[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 weeks ago

Normal joints

Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It's a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(

[–] undefined@links.hackliberty.org 6 points 3 weeks ago

Patience.

Everywhere I go people meander like zombies whether it’s walking, driving, shopping, etc. I can’t figure out why people are soooooo slow, do they have nothing to accomplish? It constantly puts me off, but it’s probably because I moved to a big city in the west (US) coast.

[–] savvywolf@pawb.social 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.

And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me... I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.

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[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

I wish I would be less of an hypocrite.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Bigger tits would be nice. They’re not small, but I’m a boob girl and so it’d be nice.

I also wish I was better at selling myself and developing professional skills quickly.

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[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I've been quite lucky with genetics and the things I've wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.

I guess there are two things I'd like to even further improve on:

  • I'd like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I'd like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
  • I'd like to naturally want to read more.
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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish my relationship wasn't so very, very, very, very bad. And I wish I could be independent financially and not trapped as I am.

You honestly have no idea how bad it can get. Don't ignore red flags.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago

That I had all the energy needed to do things that make me happy. I have a lot of commitments that are more important but less fun than my hobbies. Every time I have to deal with those, it saps my energy for fun things.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 3 points 4 weeks ago

Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.

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