The secret to writing a good resume is that people are lazy and HR departments are overworked just like everyone else so you can just fucking lie
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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They lie in the advertisements, so there's nothing wrong about lying on your application.
Yeah, a little embellishment never hurts, especially when most jobs are completely misrepresented.
10000000000000% this.
As long as you can back up your lie with a grotesque amount of overconfidence, most hiring managers are not going to dig much deeper than surface level. Like you already said, they are probably overworked and just going through motions. Hiring you has the potential to ease their workload, not hiring you means wasting another afternoon conduction more interviews the next day.
Them: Can you explain the gaps in your resume?
My autistic ass: Well, it's because I was unemployed.
One of many dumb questions that the gatekeepers ask you before they decide your livelihood.
Me: Can you explain why this is the 4th time you've posted this exact job in a year?
I've actually applied to 2 different places 4 times a piece over the last year. I had initial interviews with them each the first time and both said "lol no we found someone better qualified". But alas, they keep reopening those positions. I think at this point I'm blacklisted from both and it's an insta-deny on Indeed from them.
Sounds like a fucking mess. Seen a lot of that stuff in the tech sphere more recently and it doesn’t instill a lot of confidence.
Probably not a great situation to hop into, sounds like you may be dodging a bullet, but beggars and choosers… Good luck, comrade!
In hindsight, yeah I'm probably saving myself a lot of headache not working for them. I think I've finally decided I don't wanna keep looking for jobs and get fired after a year for being autistic and not being able to do anything about it since no one seems to care that you are autistic. They grind you up just the same. I'm actually potentially about to get a freelance web dev thing off the ground. I called a pest control company to come spray for bugs and told them I noticed their website was made with an old web builder and asked if they are considering getting a new site. She said they are actually expanding this next year and would definitely be considering me. We are regulars of theirs and they also know my wife's family. The catch is that they are one of the main pest control businesses in town and if I land this, it's potentially huge publicity for me. So fuck the shit IT gigs that keep reposting the same position lol.
Yeah realizing my neurodivergence and how it impacts my work life has been pretty eye opening. From the perspective you touched on as well as from a general social dynamics standpoint. They most definitely wear everyone down and then on top of that expect you to participate in the extra-curricular shit. By the time I’m done slaving away for 8 hours, the last thing I want to do is go to a bar and socialize with people. The whole grind is extremely non-conducive to anyone who isn’t neurotypical imo. Sure we all get through it most of the time, but idk if I’m supposed to be this exhausted after just sitting in an office all day.
Really hope the freelance stuff works out for you though, being able to work kind of for yourself on more or less you own terms sounds wonderful.
Basically the only time I did extra-curricular stuff was when I was underaged and I was working with a friend and his mom. They smuggled me into a bar close by and I got to drink beer lol. I was in a DnD campaign with some work friends at an insurance and retirement funds place but it was a friends thing and not a "team building exercise" or whatever.
I'm really hoping this freelance thing takes off too. I don't really have any other options at this point and any chance on retiring like a normie is fucked at this point. I've seen the competition in this city and I think I can take em lol. It just sucks though because I didn't want to go this route but I've been unemployed for over a year. No one wants this sweet ass so fuck em. I'm fighting lol.
I’d love to be able to afford to have a gap in my resume:(
What if I told you
It's none of your fucking business small business tyrant.
I don't mean this in a mean way, but to me if you have a gap (and I mean like you create one on the paper) it's sort of an old school "shouldn't exist anymore but boomers gonna boom" "intelligence" test. Their attitude is basically "no one I hire will have an employment gap." So, you just simply do not have a gap. Whether it's true or not is irrelevant because let's be honest ain't no one capable of nor willing to prove or disprove your employment status from Jan-June 2022 (random example). Maybe the IRS or whatever relevant tax agency, maybe law enforcement, sure, but if you're applying for a job as the sales manager or whatever the fuck at Don's Dogshit Diaper Emporium... just go ahead and stretch the dates together to fit. You could probably put other shit in there if you did it like completing on-going education credits in your relevant field, but, keeping it simple is best. Even a fucking financial institution, a bank or whatever, won't bother to figure that gap out when they literally pull on the nitrile gloves and shove their entire fist up to the elbow into your financial asshole looking for any reasons to downgrade your eligibility for a mortgage or give you a shit rate- ask me how I know. So, just lie. If they care enough to find that shit that place absolutely sucks anyway. Or it's a federal law enforcement agency and you should feel bad and stop doing that anyway.
It's interesting that my boomer dad both endorses this and also beat lies out of me (especially lies of omission)
my gap is too long to scuff dates for so i've just been saying i was freelancing
if my resume was even remotely accurate it would be like swiss cheese with all the gaps.. and each one of those gaps, be it 1 month or 6, was like heaven while it lasted
This is me, irl