Hey man, you're asking the right questions. There's not really anything you can do except be willing to say what Israel is doing is wrong. Calling your representative in Congress is free, and the more they hear from us the more they'll pay attention.

On a personal note, a lot of this would be good stuff to bring to therapy, especially if you struggle with depression. Just if you don't already have one, I'd highly recommend speaking to one to work through some of these big important questions you're having.