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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

41 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] Vampiric_Luma@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Awwh damn, sorry you lost your group of homies to a goober :( I'm glad you had other friends at the time though~ Losing everyone because of one goob sucks.

It's not always easy to accept these behaviours though. Even after my aunt's radical statement, I needed a lot of introspection in order to find, well, reality lol. ~~Jesus Christ take me back~~

I concur with your conclusion, but I also love to balance it with a paraphrased quote who's origin I don't recall...

Never trust someone who says they've never stolen

It has two sides: Humans are corruptable, but we are also redeemable. It helps me put the humanity back on people my brain would otherwise villanize. I'm ever the optimistic ideallist though. :p

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 7 months ago

Ooof idealist. On the shitlist with you! /s