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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] DanHakimi@mastodon.social 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

@Quintus Yeah, I get some discomfort from a compliment, like... I'm not sure what to do, do I thank them? Do I just say "I know!" Do I express humility? I don't believe half the compliments I get.

Getting into clothes has helped. I am proud of my style, it's unique, and I have enough of the haters, I am tired of them. When people compliment my style, it's not mere flattery—it's a statement of mutual understanding that fosters a deeper connection. And we can talk about the clothes.