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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

41 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Do you suffer from past traumatic experiences? I was abused as a child, and as a result I constantly avoid attention. As an adult, I still walk barefoot on the balls of my feet and close doors quietly to avoid being noticed around the house. Getting complimented by anyone is difficult for me. Getting complimented by a stranger is paralyzing.

[–] CuttingBoard@sopuli.xyz 4 points 7 months ago

That is my experience as well.