this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

as if I could give them the trans

Sorry but I did lolz at this - as if!:-P Part of the funny is that the Bible says "Judge not, lest you be judged", even though it also has a whole list of judgements for leaders, who were supposed to be held to a much higher standard. So to ignore the latter - letting leaders touch little children who would rather not - while also ignoring the former... they aren't even reading their own book.:-(

Though I guess you see that it is not just Christianity. In some parts of the world it is Muslim, in others it is Hindu, in still others it could be Buddhism, or whatever. One day there will even be fundamentalist atheists I believe, despite how it promotes skeptical thought and so that is fairly rare for now, human nature is just that lazy!

Anyway I am proud of you. Stand up for yourself! That is definitely not my situation but who the fuq cares, b/c you need to be (free to) be you. And that's the problem with Authoritarianism (here's a another link to a whole other series on that if you want - this Innuendo Studies should have nothing whatsoever to do with HBO, and therefore you probably have seen it already:-P): they lack empathy and allow - even perform - the judgement onto others (except their leaders, who they conveniently exempt from all proper consequences of their actions), never dreaming that one day it will wrap back around to themselves. "First they came for..." That process demeans us all, and yeah, one day it may be too late to reverse course. How ironic that you are showing compassion to them even while they spit at you (as Jesus would, hehe:-P). Stay strong, my sister in empathy!:-)

Speaking of, I hope you never catch up to us:-). Though as you say, the English speaking part is a bit closer to us in that regard, highly unfortunately:-(. Though, you still having a somewhat functional government does mean that you should be alright:-).

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Though I guess you see that it is not just Christianity.

Nah, it is absolutely not just Christianity. I see all religion as the same thing. It's the same people, just different stories. I include some atheists in there hahah. Fervent atheists and "believers" share many of the same traits. I don't think the particular religion has anything to do with it, it's probably that people who are susceptible to following a religion are more susceptible to fall for tricks and support authoritarianism. I don't wanna sound like I think I'm better than anyone who follows a religion. I think having some kind of belief system is essential and that we all have that built in us so it's kinda natural for people to gravitate towards religions. I have my own whacky belief system that I'm sure some people would scoff at but it's mine and it has served me well so far. I just think beliefs are a very personal thing and that's how it should've stayed. Religions are more about control than they are about beliefs and values.

Anyway I am proud of you. Stand up for yourself! That is definitely not my situation but who the fuq cares, b/c you need to be (free to) be you. And that’s the problem with Authoritarianism

Thank you! I am and I will continue doing so. I will not live in an authoritarian society. If you have but one ally in this fight against authoritarianism, it'll be us trans folk hahah. We will not be shoved back into the closet peacefully, this I can promise.

this Innuendo Studies should have nothing whatsoever to do with HBO, and therefore you probably have seen it already:-P)

I don't remember it but apparently at some point I've watched the first two videos of the series. I'll try to give it another shot hahah

they lack empathy and allow - even perform - the judgement onto others (except their leaders, who they conveniently exempt from all proper consequences of their actions)

Yeah those are the ones that really scare me. Some people are just sociopaths and sycophants, they need to be recognized for what they are but people can't even tell what's real and what's not anymore. We've propped up these kinds of people for decades on TV and in the media and now people think that's normal. Today I look at some of your politicians bickering and I feel like I'm watching an episode of Jersey Shore. Similar thing is happening with the current conservatives in Canada, it's actually painfully cringy to see. It's like high school type of shit all over again. Not something we should be seeing in parliament.

How ironic that you are showing compassion to them even while they spit at you (as Jesus would, hehe:-P). Stay strong, my sister in empathy!:-)

HAHAH, yeah I am very far from being a Christ figure but many people have called me Jesus during my life. Mostly because of my hair, I did kinda look like your classic White Jesus™ 😂. I just have a really hard time abandoning anyone and I can't stay mad at anyone because it absolutely eats me inside if I do. I always try to find excuses for peoples behaviours. My compassion might also come from a bit of a selfish place as there was a time where I could've probably fallen for shit like that, hell, I have. I've been a piece of shit in the past but it all stemmed from a combination personal issues and growing up in a very secluded environment. I don't think I could've fallen as deep into hatred and ignorance as some seem to be these days but still, we're not that different. I know why I was that way, I may not know why others are but I know why I was, and in the end I was "redeemable". I think most people are and it's hard for me not to give everyone a chance.

Though, you still having a somewhat functional government does mean that you should be alright:-)

For what it's worth, I think you guys will be alright too. Have some faith :3 (But don't stop doing what you do)

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Spot on! Jesus Himself hated the religious hypocrites ("Karens") of His day, calling them vipers and white-washed tombs, full of rot and decay even if slapped with a fresh coat of paint on the outside. Some people hear that and say "naw, I think I, as a Bishop or Pope or whatever, know far better than Jesus what 'Christianity' should mean", and then proceed to fondle little humans, but others think the latter is detestable and enormously gross:-(. Humans gonna human I guess, but it's not all equally good or bad - some of it is INSANE, and inside of us all we know what's what. Like if it happened to us or to someone we care about and we get mad, then we KNOW WTF is up. So those rich old white dudes (or equivalent thereof) are not even consistent with themselves, in that the walk does not match the talk, ergo it is false.

Ngl though, controlling the masses may have had a use, back in the day, before most people could read, by providing incentives for them to not kill and rape and steal and such. Even so, who can blame people then for being angry at finding out that their leaders don't even belief the crap that they're preaching? Which ironically doesn't even mean that it is false, just that I am agreeing with you about the need to dissect the issue by separating the "belief system" from the "authoritarian religion" components. In any case, here in the USA the latter got hijacked and evangelical christians especially seem to almost equate "God = vote for guns & conservatism". I almost just said conservatism there except that itself is too bland for many of them, who want to continue pushing to ever more far-right schemes. "God" for them is in-group selection.

Switching topics a bit, most of my friends online have been gay men. I am a cis het male btw, not that it matters but I am saying that I am friends with them not b/c of those shared aspects but more, I think, b/c they have empathy. People who have been through some shit end up having more "character" than those who do not. Entitled/spoiled people are the types to spit in your food, never dreaming of what else you have been through, and then they go and add to that burden. THEY would not want that done to THEM, yet they do it to you. On the other hand, people who are heavily bullied may end up broken and mean to others, so I am not saying that exposure to trauma causes empathy, but I am saying that it is a necessary if not sufficient component, it seems to me. So you have had that opportunity that they did not, and chose to do something with it. And that is indeed something worth being proud of!:-)

If you like the videos then I am glad that I sent the link to remind you of them. They are not light fare, but I did so enjoy pouring through them slowly, digesting each one in turn. It's like a college course in the material!:-)

As for the media on the other side, well, let's just say that Russia works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it is poisoning, but other times far more subtle. These days they are not even trying to be subtle anymore - Republican conventions are held in literal Moscow, as well as places such as Hungary. They are like minds, and Russia would be a fool not to partner with them, e.g. in that recent Tucker Carlson video interviewing Putin, if it would help speed the conversion of the USA from a foe to an ally. People do not spot it through b/c they are GOOD at what they do! Like, they poin ted out how Hillary Clinton was "corrupt" - b/c she WAS! The Supreme Court asked her to send all of her emails to them, and she told them "lolz no, Im gonna delete the ones that I do not want you to see first". Nobody can say that the optics surrounding that are anything remotely close to good. In fact, I gotta be careful here or I will go full-on rant on you, but remember that Trump did not win that election so much as she lost it (likewise, he did not win the Republican nomination either, so much as Ted Cruz lost it, after JEB botched the job). Whoever leaked her emails did the real work in that election - but then it was her actual words that she actually said and her actual actions that doomed her. Trump was outright shocked to have won - he never planned on it, did not really want it even, and gave some very serious thoughts to turning it down even! And even when he took it, he still just wanted to do the TV show that he had planned previously, on top of the job of being president. He is like a child - it is the situation that put him there, not (so much) his own intentions. In fact, I even have a little empathy for him too - he didn't want it, but he did try, despite the job being well beyond his capacity, and that's actually the tiniest shadow of a little light there (1 out of 1000 but still... it is worth noting and giving him that much credit at least; along with the blame for you know, the actual genocide of Americans by e.g. telling them that the virus was not airbone when he KNEW that it was).

Anyway, it is not "just" the people that are broken, I agree, it is the SYSTEM. Although the system is made up out of people so... that's where I get lost. But that is also why I think what you are saying is good, about not abandoning people: b/c if enough people did THAT, then the system would not be the way it is today. Somewhere in there I do think that the carrot needs to be set down and the stick picked up, and I acknowledge that I have never figured out that the line that should distinguish between them, but I think that when you KNOW that the carrot is the thing to be done and you do it ANYWAY despite the cost, that is integrity. Which some few authoritarians that I have met personally I feel like also have, in that they turn to the stick too readily and without understanding it, but most - e.g. those who showed up at the capitol - do not, b/c how can you "protect" the Constitution if you haven't even so much as read it? A "coup" to overturn something is NOT the same thing as "saving" it, dummies!!!:-(

Which is why I have to admit that I have lost the faith: with ~80% of Americans being somewhere in the middle between the extreme left and right sides, and with good-hearted and honest people with some amount of integrity on both sides, yes and some child-like mindsets too, this isn't something that most of us even seem to want to fight about? However, our media sells fear and extremism, and our politicians too, and with all these parasites sucking up our attention, how then is someone supposed to rise up and actually GOVERN? As ironically Biden has been doing, or at least trying to, though Congress and the Supreme Court seem more responsible for a goodly fraction of the issues that most average Americans are experiencing right now (not Gaza, but that's a whole other thing, and frankly that doesn't directly affect most "average" Americans either). I hope something will restore my faith, but I am not optimistic about that:-(. Therefore I believe that I am living in a dying country, but I do whatever I can to help others in my vicinity and abroad nonetheless, not b/c I think I will necessarily accomplish anything truly great there, but simply b/c it is who I am and how I want to be. We all need to live out our authentic lives, being our true selves:-).

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ngl though, controlling the masses may have had a use, back in the day, before most people could read, by providing incentives for them to not kill and rape and steal and such.

Oh yeah I 100% agree with that. Religion was basically a proto-government. It's funny, reminds me of when I was in high school. I was part of the student newspaper and at some point I had written an article about religion and how it is basically an antiquated form of government and how it has no real purpose anymore. Edgy I know. The next Monday in school I heard about how the town priest had read the article during Sunday mass. Apparently he was NOT happy about it. I was pretty proud of that one, not gonna lie 😂.

People who have been through some shit end up having more “character” than those who do not.

Yeah I think so too, but it can also easily go both ways, especially when you can't manage to get out of said shit. (Nvm I see now that I should read a bit further before starting to type bahah)

I do believe however that the ones who've inflicted the most pain on others as a result of their own pain have the potential to be the ones who try their hardest to make up for their mistakes, which is why I try hard to not discount anyone. I might be wearing rose-colored glasses but I have to keep them on.

As for the media on the other side

Yeah the right associating with leaders such as Putin and Orbán is fucked up on so many levels. They definitely are good at what they do. That's one of the reasons I dislike how people on both sides treat each other like the other side is dumb. All sides have brilliant people and ignorant followers. And OF COURSE Hillary was corrupt, nobody who gets that far in politics has clean hands. They're all corrupted in some way or another but not necessarily equally. Centrist cunts fuck off.

One of my best friends, brilliant guy, doctor of philosophy. A couple of years ago he decided he wanted to get into politics so he started small. He decided to run for city council here and won. It didn't even take a year for him to absolutely hate the game. He said he could not sleep anymore, couldn't handle how corrupted even stupid little city council members could be. He said there was no way for him to stay there without getting his own hands dirty and he wanted no part of it. Within a year he quit, and left the town to go teach halfway across the world at the University of Liverpool where he still is now. He couldn't stand seeing these people anymore. It made sense then why our little town is dying. Even the tiniest amount of power is immense to tiny people. I'd like to see the day where we can offload a lot of these duties to some kind of AI, but that's a whole other can of worms that we are not ready to open.

Trump is someone I have a very hard time having any empathy for, but yeah, I also have a teeny tiny bit, because he really is nothing but a child. However I don't have any hope for him to ever turn around and do something good other than for his own selfish reasons. He is too old to grow up now.

Oh and on the subject of the Carlson-Putin interview. You wouldn't happen to have a link for a re-upload? I still haven't watched it because I refuse to even give it a single official view but I need to see it.

Anyway, it is not “just” the people that are broken, I agree, it is the SYSTEM.

It is. We are all products of our environment. I don't think we actually have much control over anything, not even ourselves. That's definitely one of my wacky beliefs. I've never been able to shake off the idea that we live in a deterministic universe so it is hard for me to stay mad at a person or a group of people when I don't even believe they had any real control over their action. It would be like getting mad at the messenger. We still need to get mad and fight, but not the people. We need to fight ideas with better ideas. We need to love the people because they are us and we are them. Without them there is no us and vice versa. A world with no opposition is a world that would go sideways in no time.

In-fighting between humans has been a thing since forever and look where we are now. We are wayyyyy better off in most aspects than we were not that long ago. It's easy to forget that when we're forced to take a step backwards but we as a species will come back from this, we always have. At least, assuming we manage to heal our planet but unfortunately we can't do that if we don't somehow heal ourselves first.

A “coup” to overturn something is NOT the same thing as “saving” it, dummies!!!:-(

Yeahhh.. I don't even know what to say about Jan 6th. That is such a messed up thing. I think that a lot of people who showed up at the Capitol didn't have bad intentions, they were misled. Although I'm sure there were plenty involved that absolutely had bad intentions. Most of them problably weren't there in person.

this isn’t something that most of us even seem to want to fight about? However, our media sells fear and extremism, and our politicians too

That's pretty much it. Most people don't want to fight but the news, the politicians, corporations, whatever, they've all figured out that pitting us against each other was very profitable. Not only do we have parasites at home, we have parasites on the outside as well trying to creep in and profit as well. At this point it feels like we can't trust anything or anyone, it's no surprise that there is a rise in conspiracy brains.

I hope something will restore my faith, but I am not optimistic about that:-(. Therefore I believe that I am living in a dying country

But you kinda are hahah, when have you ever seen something that is not dying in some way or another? All nations will eventually disappear or change into something completely unrecognizable. Either something new and better is born out of the seemingly rotting carcass that is the American empire, or something terrible to you will take it's place and that same cycle will repeat. It's terrifying to think that we could lose our way of life, I tend to talk like I'm not scared but really I'm terrified. It's the unknown part of it that is really scary.

I do whatever I can to help others in my vicinity and abroad nonetheless, not b/c I think I will necessarily accomplish anything truly great there, but simply b/c it is who I am and how I want to be. We all need to live out our authentic lives, being our true selves:-).

Those who aspire for greatness often end up accomplishing nothing. You're doing the right thing. It's impossible for one person to change the big picture but you can absolutely change what is immediately around you and that is a very powerful thing. That is where we need to put our energy. I feel like the internet has done us a great disservice in that area. We are not ready to be so connected yet. We've lost the will to fight locally because we are way too overwhelmed with things that are happening where we are absolutely powerless to help. Take care of your close ones so that they can take of theirs. The rest will work itself out. This is no time for apathy.

(Are we going for the longest comment thread in Lemmy history or what?)

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

part 2 of 2 - read the other one first!

And moreover, who cares? If it helps you, go with it. Then again, definitely examine it, if you feel the capacity to, b/c I think True things tend to have nothing to fear from honest inquiry, only False ones, so I question EVERYTHING and don't worry, just leaving the outcome to the results of the investigation:-).

That said, I halfway agree in that I think people carry around so many strange things, that when you talk with someone you are only partway talking to them, and partway talking to all the stuff that they bring with them. That might also depend somewhat on the person, like if they have higher Mind (I really have no idea what that means, but somehow it might convey the point regardless... does that make any sense?) then perhaps they are more true versions of themselves. Whereas talking with e.g. Trump would be like talking with a puppet - he says whatever thoughts have been implanted into his brain just before seeing you. HE has no control, but perhaps *I* do? (like it or not even) Although... the flip side of that is that if *I* do, then why *not* him? That's the part I am still chewing over, slowly.

All nations will eventually disappear or change into something completely unrecognizable.

That... is such a beautiful perspective, thank you. I have thought that before, but can never seem to hold onto it - possibly b/c Lemmy and news keeps filling my head with doom & gloom, and it seems easier to just let the crowd have their way. But I will really try this time, b/c it seems worthwhile.

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh my. My ADHD is on fire today so I'm gonna be slow to reply to this one hahah. I'm having a really hard time organizing my thoughts and writing them down is going to be difficult as every line I read just sends me into a absolute trainwreck of thoughts. So. Many. Thoughts. I will be back with a reply as soon as my brain is untangled.

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't... think that I have ADHD (read as: I think that I might have some form of ADHD or something along those lines:-P) - or rather I think we all lie on the spectrum somewhere, and especially highly intelligent people tend to do things differently than the "average" ones. It may look disorganized to those outside, who prefer the more rigid disciplined attack-vector style, but inside that mindset we know better: it is creative, it is spontaneous, it is fun and... yeah, it gets tiring:-). It is fucking mathematical poetry is what it is! Or at least that is how I think of it.

So rest easy: I am not judging you, truly. I hope you will not forget me entirely, but you definitely should hold off on reading all of that huge wall of text until you have the capacity. :-) You already went so far above and beyond to report back on the video, and ~~maybe~~ I should have altered my own actions there to not lay such a heavy burden on you to feel "pressured" to respond quickly. Also I ~~could~~ really should have taken time on my own to re-word it significantly shorter, which would have helped a ton:-). Sorry if I was disrespectful in that manner.:-)

I do so very much enjoy hearing your thoughts though - keep preaching them sista! (if/when/as you want:-)

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Oh no! I didn't mean anything about what you wrote or your writing style or anything. Sorry if I came across that way. I think we have a very similar writing style, no offence 😂

I don’t… think that I have ADHD (read as: I think that I might have some form of ADHD or something along those lines:-P) - or rather I think we all lie on the spectrum somewhere

The autism spectrum is a strange and fascinating thing. I'm also not entirely convinced ADHD is really a separate thing, just ADHD being a set or subset of traits within the autism spectrum that we've decided to identify and label as ADHD instead of lumping it with autism. Autism and ADHD have very high rates of comorbidity, the major differentiating factor between the two is that ones traits/symptoms can be managed using stimulants.

It is easy to think that everybody must be on it a little bit but I'm not sure that's the case. I know for me it's something that has definitely crossed my mind but the more I thought about it, the closer I got to the conclusion that it is more likely that I have inadvertently surrounded myself with people who are also on the spectrum/neurodivergent. We kind of speak the same language and have many shared experiences/traumas so it would be no surprise that we would associate.

I do believe that many people we consider highly intelligent are/were on the spectrum. It does grant the "ability" to think in completely different ways and to view very different perspectives. It can be a blessing and/or a curse, very rarely a blessing alone.

Welp, I don't decide when I get going but when I do, I have a hard time stopping 💀. I'm gonna manually pull the brake here and cut off that rant right there 😅

definitely should hold off on reading all of that huge wall of text until you have the capacity.

I did read it though! Sorry I thought I mentioned that in my previous post but apparently I didn't hahah. I just wanted to let you know that I had seen and read your comment but I'm having a very low-functioning day today. The subjects brought up are not subjects I take lightly and even though we're not doing much more than shooting the shit on the internet, you've brought things up that I really want to ponder and explore before taking the time to reply. I appreciate the conversation with you and I know it takes time and energy to put thoughts on paper. Just wanted you to know it wasn't a waste, I am still listening.

and maybe I should have altered my own actions there to not lay such a heavy burden on you to feel “pressured” to respond quickly.

Not at all. That's 100% on me, that's just how I am. There's probably (definitely 100%) trauma hiding somewhere behind that but that's another comment thread 😂

Also I could really should have taken time on my own to re-word it significantly shorter, which would have helped a ton:-). Sorry if I was disrespectful in that manner.:-)

You have not been disrespectful in any way. I know how it is when you start writing and more and more stuff just keeps coming up, no reason not to share those thoughts. Pound away on that keyboard. I'll talk to you soon!

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).

I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this. I could be making stuff up and it is all that way. The brain is weird, and trauma is a bitch, on steroids:-P.

Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is "best", only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.

The ability to "shut out the world" and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired. It did for Steve Jobs, and then weirdly enough they brought him back! The execs reportedly hated that they had to do that, yet needed him b/c otherwise they could not create money out of thin air. It must have been so humiliating to them, to have to bow before the laws of economics and touch reality so directly, rather than simply impose their will and have everyone immediately say "yes!". Anyway I am proud to be neurodivergent, and went looking for ways to further break out of the mold. But then likewise after I left my last position, I am also looking to reign that in too, so that I can maintain a steady income as well as create:-P.

You too are getting better at that I see - and that's definitely a good thing:-). Whether we are ever truly the masters of our own fate or not, we can at least step up and attempt to grab the reigns, and I think that's a good thing (otherwise, the reigns wouldn't even need to be there?:-D).

I've said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I'm solid on the "banter", but it is so rare to have the TRULY thoughtful ones. Like cooking, it is worth the wait for the preparation time:-).

And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel "anxiety" for not responding sooner. I... well let's just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).

Thank you for your kind words:-).

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).

Hey! Right back at you, friend!

I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this.

Yeah they are very difficult to tell apart. Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different. I tried so hard to not be different my whole life that I've ended up with damage that I'm not sure I will ever be able to completely fix. Most of the symptoms that I display that stem from trauma would be indistinguishable from a neurotypical person with similar traumas.

Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is “best”, only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.

That is also how I see it. It's actually such a beautiful thing too. You can't have anything if you don't have balance. I don't believe that there is a "wrong" kind of person, just maybe someone who is not suited for the current task at hand. It doesn't mean that they are useless. In a capitalistic society, yeah maybe but I'd rather argue that capitalism is useless (I don't think it is but I do think it's time for it to retire) than a person.

The ability to “shut out the world” and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired.

Yeah it is a double-edged sword for sure. It feels like a crippling superpower at times. Yes I can concentrate on a project for 24 hours straight, but I also can't feed myself during that time, I can't do anything but what's right in front of me. But still, I am also very proud to be neurodivergent. I wish I had known more about it earlier, but maybe I wouldn't have taken it the same way if I learned about it earlier, who knows.

I’ve said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I’m solid on the “banter”

I agree, but banter also serves to open the door to potentially thoughtful replies. I basically use it as a feeler, kind of like a "Hey how's it goin'" or "Hey, nice weather!". Funny how I only really learned what the purpose of that was a couple years ago. Sometimes you send out a quick quip and someone sends one right back that shows a "compatible thought-process". Also I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.

And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel “anxiety” for not responding sooner. I… well let’s just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).

Yeah it's tough to fight it. Especially when you grew with with instant messaging. I've basically been in front of a computer with all my instant messengers opened at all times and now I regret it so much. I don't want to be accessible 24/7, I mean I kinda do but really I can't. It leaves you no time for you and in the end you can't be there for anyone if you're not there for yourself. I wish I had realized that sooner.

Thank you for your kind words:-).

💜💜💜💜

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different.

Yeah, I feel like I can well understand. Obviously not ofc, especially your particulars - and this is no contest, leastwise not one that anyone would ever come close to "winning" - but in general. For example, the former sentence could be a HORRIBLE thing to say? Lacking empathy - like "I skinned my knee one time, so I know precisely what pain you are going through!" -or it could be... not, and I don't even know the difference!!! To me it sounds logical therefore I share it. And that is why I feel like I know what you mean: other people react, and I have little idea why, which leaves me constantly trying to second-guess every single tiny fucking thing. Maybe I am sighted and they are blind, thus lacking the ability to see as clearly as I do, they have a different set of facts, so react differently? But at the same time, I KNOW that I am blind, especially if I cannot "see clearly" enough to guess their reactions, so it cannot be as simple as that. In reality, it is both. And my trauma I suppose is some whole other thing entirely, related to neither, and yet since it interconnects with both... sigh, anyway, I halfway get what you mean:-).

Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire. ~~We~~ you just might get your wish. Ngl, the wealthy look to be gearing up to replace society with something different, and it might leave the broken democracy and capitalism portions behind, replacing it with simply abject slavery - a form of communism where YOU work hard for THEIR gain (instead of your own as capitalism typifies), and thus "everyone is equal", except for the like 5 people at the top. Who at that point might not even be people anymore but rather AI robots, or even just plain & simple corporations, where even the CEO has no more rights than a janitor, just a few extra perks.

I do not think the exercise about what we all should want is entirely useless, but I do worry that we are getting so wrapped up in such thinking processes that we, collectively as society ofc, are forgetting that we may not get what we want, and rather that the evil ones may dangle some pretty bauble at us, but end up switching that bait with their own devious version of it as we try to grasp at it. Trump is a living example of that - despite making himself a butt-monkey puppet for Putin and thus not being the true "agency" doing the thinking himself, still he serves well enough as a name to call it - where he offered to his supporters to overthrow Biden in an effort to "save democracy and freedom". Ofc the January 6 rioters would not have ended up "saving democracy" AT ALL, and THEY are the ones taking away people's "freedoms"... which is why this is a perfect example of what I am saying here: what THEY "offer" is not necessarily a good thing, when they are predating upon our emotions and we (collectively, societally) are too dumb to realize that:-(.

Trump may also be a weirdly good example in another way: showing us that there truly CAN be a "wrong" type of person:-). I mean, what is wrong with hollowing yourself out to become a mouthpiece for someone who would rather choose to hide in the shadows? There are multiple ways to be correct, and MANY more ways to be incorrect, but there are some, very few things to be avoided. Except, and this is the part that gets weird, sometimes, at least on evolutionary timescales, sometimes that WORKS!? Like, literally avoid all the traps set for you, not b/c you were too smart to fall for them, but b/c you were too dumb to have fallen for them!!!!:-P Still, while there may not be a "right" and a "wrong" way, there are ways that tend to work better than others, and Trump's way seems wrong to me. But other things, like a lot of my own feelings, I have little control over, so I don't worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) about whether they are "right" or "wrong":-P. As the stoics said: only worry about what you can control!:-D

I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.

Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don't even believe in that - but... well, it sounded silly in my head, so I HAD TO SAY IT!:-P The weird part is, whenever I do say stuff like that, I tend to get down-voted. (I still do it though:-P - their reaction is on them, but I got my fun and moved on:-D)

About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. In this case, I only ever access Lemmy from a webpage - either mobile or desktop - and never allow notifications to be turned on. I hope that thought sparks something in you. Not that I am advocating for it mind you - that's your business and I do know if it would even work for you, but what I hope it will do is spark a thought process in you.:-) In turn, I would hope that thought process would either lead you to change something so that you felt more free, or else that you would stay the same but again, feel more free and settled in what you are doing:-).

And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit - in this respect at least (we all are smart in many but not all ways, okay so maybe not "all" but MANY people have various forms of intelligence, which are usually not entirely evenly distributed) - and might not know how to avoid that? Anyway, again it is obviously not a "directive" b/c I have zero rights to such, but just me sharing how I feel, when I say that I would hope that you take some time for yourself. I also hope you do not forget me!!! But like... in a way I guess I do then, if that would cause you undue strain? I feel like you more than most people will understand what I mean here... even though I do not, fully, myself:-).

Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire.

Oh I know hahah. I'm always careful for what I wish for. I might not always chose the right words to put down but in my head my wish is pretty clear and simple. I wouldn't wanna be able to say exactly what it was though because then according to the rules of the universe and the wishing laws, it would never come true 🤪

I have little control over, so I don’t worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) Hah! Yeah I definitely relate to that hahah. I also try not to worry about things that are out of my hands but I still can't stop thinking about it. I think I'm getting better at not really worrying and just accepting that I am just kind a visitor in this world. I find it to be relieving to not worry about things that are out of my reach, instead concentrating on the things that I can actually touch. However, I still constantly think about everything that is out of my reach, hoping that one day my reach extends either directly or indirectly through other people who I am in contact with. Stoicism is cute in theory but in practice I'm not sure it is, although I haven't really spent more than a couple hours thinking about it and I have definitely not put it into practice. I tried reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations a long time ago but never actually managed to get that far into it.

Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don’t even believe in that Hahah yeah I don't know about soul mates. I wish it was real but at this point in my life I've lost faith. Also fuck the downvotes, people who actually take time to downvote things that are harmless aren't worth a second of your time. Not upvoting would end up doing the same thing but no, they have to downvote. It's trash behaviour from sad people.

About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. I'm getting much better with it now, although I think it's because my mental health has just been generally improving overall in the past couple months, making it easier for me to look through the fog at the things that are actually hurting me.

And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit

Aw hahah don't say that, but I do understand what you mean as I am also dumb as shit. Oops, I said it too. I also believe that everybody has some kind of intelligence and wish more people could see that. Even someone who appears to be dumb as bricks will probably know way more than you in many areas. There's just so much knowledge to be amassed out there and everybody picks up different bits. Thinking that someone is just 100% stupid and doesn't know anything just shows a lack of insight or understanding.

Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).

I have! I've been feeling too good to stay cooped up at home these past couple days. I guess I haven't really been resting but the change of scenery has been really nice.

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

John Stewart (Daily Show) had a great message yesterday about what we were talking about wrt Trump: people around his orbit say one thing, but do the exact opposite irl, revealing how it is authoritarian BS and currying favor rather than reality. But he says it much better than I ever could so I will let you hear it from him.

It’s (downvoting) trash behaviour from sad people.

I need to talk with you a lot more often - this is stuff I need to hear:-). Speaking of, I am glad to hear that your mental health is improving. I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow... so that's always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).

[–] Betch@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow… so that’s always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).

Aw, that's just part of the ups and downs of life. Just don't let yourself fall too far down. Two steps forwards one step back is still one step forward. The last 2 days have been pretty shit for me in terms of mental health but at the same time I still realize that I am still doing MUCH better than I was just a month ago. It's always a bit painful when your mood and mental health takes a bit of a dive but it helps to try and keep things in perspective.

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago

This is indeed a great perspective:-).