this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is the gist of college student qualms with dating apps. Hook-up culture declines while young people search for genuine connection.

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[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (41 children)

So, how should people find mates? Obviously these stupid apps don't work and the chance encounter system we use in western societies don't, and neither do the marriage-as-transaction systems societies used centuries ago, or the subjugation of any one gender. So how should we ensure most people who want a mate get one?

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

I never had a problem getting women back when I actually left the house. Sophomore year of high school until I got a job at the airport, I practically always had a girlfriend. This included going to ERAU, a campus with 1 female for every 8 males. I had a girlfriend within weeks of arriving on campus.

I disappeared into that work-home to sleep-work thing for a couple years, ended up going back to school at yet another very male dominated aviation school, and I wound up with the only chick in our class.

All the while I have never once gotten a date through a personals site or app; I have a feeling there's a question or two on the profile that they shadowban you for the wrong answer, such as being 5'7", or I suspect being non-christian. To put this into a time scale for you, it feels weird to call them "dating apps" and not "dating sites" because I gave up on the whole idea before "Mobile First."

I'm single right now for one very simple reason: I don't leave the house much.

Edit: to those who have downvoted this comment, could you explain to me why. Let's have this conversation.

[–] canni@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should just leave your height and religion out of your tinder profile man

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I gave up on online dating before Tinder was a thing. The dating sites I did try had those as fields.

Also...I hate religion, and that is very important to who I am as a person, and hatred of religion is an important trait I look for in a mate, so.

[–] canni@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So you gave up online dating a decade ago? The Internet has come a long way since then.

I don't know what you're looking for, but I would urge you to give it another try if you're not finding what you want. It's not magic, but it will simply put you in front of a lot more people than you would otherwise see. If your perfect match is a 1 in 1000 you've got way better odds running into them online than via random chance IRL.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
  1. Yes, the internet has come a long way since then. In 2013 the internet was cold and unfeeling, in 2023 the internet is openly hostile and evil.
  2. I'm not looking for anything. Not anymore. And finding plenty of it.
  3. My perfect match isn't on Tinder; she's married and working for some logistics firm in Texas last I heard. We were together for two short years and it's my fault I lost her.
  4. I've dated since then and discovered just what caliber of person is on the 21st century market. In related news: I don't often leave the house anymore. By deliberate choice. 5, To recommend online dating in this thread of all places you must have the reading comprehension of a tube worm.
[–] canni@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago

Cool man. Enjoy your lonely, bitter life I guess. I will continue enjoying mine with the partner I found online.

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