Asklemmy

43940 readers

625 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

130

Sore Losers of Lemmy: What Helped You Start to Lose with Grace? (lemmy.sdf.org)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by JAJLWolf@lemmy.sdf.org to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

51 comments fedilink hide all child comments

EDIT: Thank you all so much for your thoughtful input. It means so much to me.

Hi, all. I'm looking to change my nasty tendency to be a sore loser, particularly when playing games. I tend to personalize losses that are of no consequence. When the game starts to shift against me, I often stop trying as hard because it feels hopeless. My partner is much more proficient at board games than I am, and I don't want this toxic trait of mine to make games less fun for us. What are some things you all tried to lessen this train of thought, if you've experienced it?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] teawrecks@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Think of the flip side: if you're always winning, you're never being challenged. You might as well be playing against children, the outcome would be the same. It's only when you're losing that you can learn something and get better.
I recommend trying new strategies that you're not sure about, probably guarantee yourself to lose, but try to understand why and whether there is anything useful to incorporate into a different strategy.
Don't let yourself go into "try-hard" mode until you're sure you can handle a loss like an adult, that's the real win. Until then, force yourself to lose repeatedly to get used to it.
When a game starts, assume you've already either won or lost based on your current skill level and the luck you'll have during the game, and focus instead on learning something new that will help you to win the next match.
Lastly, be happy for your opponent just like you would be happy for a friend having good fortune.

These are all skills I had to develop to combat ladder anxiety in SC2, or being sunk in SoT. In SC2, there would be stretches where I would win 10 in a row and feel like I wasted my time because I didn't learn anything. What good is winning 10 times just because my opponents blundered? Not like I have anything to be proud of or to use to win future matches.

"I never lose, I either win or learn." - Nelson Mandela

[–] maltasoron@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

"More gg, more skill" - WhiteRa