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Sore Losers of Lemmy: What Helped You Start to Lose with Grace? (lemmy.sdf.org)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by JAJLWolf@lemmy.sdf.org to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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EDIT: Thank you all so much for your thoughtful input. It means so much to me.

Hi, all. I'm looking to change my nasty tendency to be a sore loser, particularly when playing games. I tend to personalize losses that are of no consequence. When the game starts to shift against me, I often stop trying as hard because it feels hopeless. My partner is much more proficient at board games than I am, and I don't want this toxic trait of mine to make games less fun for us. What are some things you all tried to lessen this train of thought, if you've experienced it?

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[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just stopped competing. I'm not a good loser or winner haha. I really like cooperative games.

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Are you me? I hate winning because I feel bad and I hate losing because I lost :(

[–] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've felt this way for a long time. The stress of competition and navigating other people made me feel grumpy if I was losing and maybe a bit arrogant when I won, and it brought everything down. So I said forget it. No more PvP, give me co-op or I'll just go solo.

But recently a friend pulled me into his Magic: The Gathering group, a game I always thought I wouldn't like. They've all been very patient and encouraging about teaching me and another newbie how to play, providing all the cards, and just generally being excellent. Having a friendly and good-natured group makes it all feel so different.

We're just having fun, there are no real stakes, and I like that. And even if I got more serious about planning my deck and competing, I feel like they would totally go along with that. Or it could stay as purely a reason to hang out and socialize, which is great and something I value a lot differently after the pandemic years.