this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023
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ADHD
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A casual community for people with ADHD
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Medication really made a huge difference in my quality of performance in life. No more embarrassement about being unable to help dozing off in meetings and looking like a fool. I've microslept at the wheel several times before and medications completely eliminated that. It's the only way I'd reasonably trust myself to do long outstation drives.
Although, I do have a story about the first small road trip I did with my partner after being prescribed. 3h drive both ways, and both times I only remembered that I was supposed to take my medication (on an empty stomach) halfway into my meals. I still made the drive with support, but it was a lot tougher than it needed to be, lol.
I make a lot of jokes about medication since I take it now but I do have an underlying fear of developing substance addictions, so I'd like to look into psychotherapy to develop even more unmedicated life management skills when I can afford it.
Gosh, I can relate with the depression though. I think struggling with symptoms of ADHD pushed me into depression. I used to have outbursts and crying meltdowns as a teenager, but it stopped when I went into university and met supportive friends. But my mood cycles and occasionally I can get very fixated on negative thoughts that will just drain me and ruin my day. Been considering medication, talked to my psychiatrist (who also has ADHD and understands) about it, but haven't started yet.
Honestly that 80/90s scare did a doozy on most GenX/Millenial underlying mentals on how they treat or medicate. Medicine is literally medicine. Not a crutch, not something to be scared of. If you're not scared of the literal food you eat or the water you drink, then you shouldn't for meds either. It's a necessary thing for us mostly because of scumbag genetics and probably some environmental conditions. I do hope you're actually happy with either route you take.
Yeah I'd still say I'm fairly stoic/quiet, but I at least have all my emotions now. I'm confident I used stoicism as a counter for the ADHD as a crutch for focusing. Unfortunately it was very much like going through life like the scene in Fight Club where the Narrator could barely hear his boss lol. Sure things mattered, I did stuff, but I didn't really feel much of anything when going through the motions. I had good empathy for others, but not for myself. I just didn't care about shit. However, I was never suicidal and never will be probably. Too scared of death and FOMO.
These days? Have a toddler, another on the way sooner than later. I leak all the time watching shit lol.
I've heard a good analogy before that so many of our emotions are like a filled glass of water. Someone with depression like mine always had the glass half full so unless some CRAZY amounts of stuff happened, the glass would never overflow. Others, it's ALWAYS about to spill over. For most healthy people, it's filled, but there's still space at the top. Sad stuff should be able to make you sad and poignant things cry. Mad things shouldn't let you be a dormat forever, but they shouldn't instantly make you pop either. That glass has felt APPROPRIATELY full after meds.