this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
105 points (98.2% liked)

Transfem

3473 readers
12 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Long story short, I've known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I'm in my late 30's now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It's something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.

Recently a very close friend who I've know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.

I want to tell her about myself but I'm worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I've known I was trans for so long and yet haven't started transitioning myself. I'm afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I've never told anyone my truth and I'd so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.

I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] FJW@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That’s not the kind of thing that I would assume makes people significantly insecure. What might happen though is that she will talk you into transitioning too…

And yes: Transitioning is SOOO good! It’s almost always worth it. 😊

[–] edg@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I hope not, maybe I'm projecting too much.

It's possible she could... I haven't felt this constantly dysphoric in years.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Girl(?), if my experience is any indicator of how this shit works, you've been feeling dysphoric the whole time, you just pushed it away so you didn't feel it. However, it was still there, hurting you in ways you couldn't see.

[–] edg@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Girl(?) 🥹

Pretty much ya. I had never really thought that my dysphoria could be hurting me. It's just always been something I carry around, and I've treated it like any other unfulfillable desire. It definitely made me more anti-social, and instead of seeking out a girl friend i was happy to fantasize about being a girl. I'm not completely disgusted by my own body like I've read others are, which probably helped with coping too.

I sobered up a couple years ago and have started to face the reality thst I'm getting older. With that has come a realization that my dysphoria has probably significantly hampered my life.

[–] FJW@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Okay, rule number 1 about transitioning: The best time to start was for almost all of us a number of years in the past. The second best time is now. It’s never too late!

[–] ThighlanderEnjoyer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I carried the same weight until I came out at 32, and let me tell you, it's heavier than you'll ever realize until you put it down and start unpacking it. But the change in my life in just over a year has been literally unbelievable.

[–] edg@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

My heart goes out to you internet stranger. If you're willing to share more, I'd love to hear how your life had changed for the better.

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

Different stranger here: I actually started to like myself and enjoy living, things everyone takes for granted. I couldn't have imagined this much happiness was even possible, but it's my normal now! Now I smile, laugh, talk to people, and feel like an actual person! It's amazing how much improved now that I've been reducing that constant itch of wrongness!

[–] ThighlanderEnjoyer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's hard to quantify in some ways, but the biggest thing is I can stand to be me now. I'm in therapy to help deal with all the emotions that come with finally not repressing everything, and boy is that hard to deal with sometimes, but I actively want to deal with it.

So as cheesy as it is, transitioning has actually given me hope for the future.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

It's made me extremely antisocial and basically incapable of functioning as an adult. I thought there was something very, very wrong with me, because here I was, an otherwise "normal" adult who just couldn't function for seemingly no reason. I'd shoved the feelings away so well when I was a teenager (because I didn't know that being trans was an option, among other things) that I forgot how bad they were. After coming out I suddenly began remembering all the self-hatred, self-disgust and so forth, and even though I haven't started hrt yet, it's made it way easier to love myself when I can look at my body and say, "it won't be much longer..."

🥹

Who's a good girl? You are! You're a good girl! I know that you're a good girl because you're asking these kinds of questions about yourself and because you want to support your friend. I also know that if you're anything like me then your feelings are currently doing backflips screaming, "that's me, that's me! Aaaaaaaaaaa, call me that again, again, again!"

Don't wait sweetie, it sounds like you and your newly discovered trans friend have a lot of things you could do together, like trying to find cute clothes that fit! Just be careful you don't accidentally overwhelm her, she's going through some Big Feels too, but having you there will probably help a lot.

And try to avoid focusing on the imperfections. That was something I used for a long time to talk myself out of it. Try to find silver linings instead.

I believe in you sweetie, you can do it. Be the best girl you can be. I know you can!

Edit: oh yeah, if you're into gaming and already have a decent PC, look into VRChat. VR headsets should be mandatory for trans people. 10/10 euphoria generator (though personally I found it difficult to get immersed until I got leg and hip trackers).

[–] edg@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 5 points 3 weeks ago

Also if you like being called a "good girl" and you're not a furry, go get connected with some furry groups and tell them you like being called a good girl and you will get called it a lot. We love telling beans they're good girls and good boys. (I highly recommend looking for local groups before branching out, and you might be surprised how many of us there are. Even if you don't have IRL contact with them, knowing that you can reach out to them IRL makes a massive difference)

[–] Taalnazi@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

This, so much! It's a lot of suppressed feelings.

Brainfog, just feeling generally meh, that is part of it.