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Those with parents who hold opposite political views than you, how do you go about disagreeing? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by minorsecond@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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To be more specific, my parents raised my siblings and me to "respect" them, saying "yes sir, and "no ma'am" to everything they said. Spankings, all of that. Typical super conservative evangelical parents. Before I learned better, I was that way too. I went to college and since then have embraced the left more and more.

They'll say things now and then that are really distasteful politically. Today I made an Instagram post about DeSantis lying about liberal states allowing post-birth abortions and I got several family members railing against me. I'm tired of staying quiet when this happens. I think that, because how my parents raised me, I'm afraid to speak my mind to older family members. Fuck that though.

Has anyone else had this experience? I wonder if therapy would help. I just don't know how to explain it.

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[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Try to understand why they believe what they do. Ask them about their sources, and their experiences. Be friendly, and ready to question your own convictions, if you want a dialogue and not a fight.

Make understanding your main objective, don't expect to change their minds. Understanding why they think like they do will make your life easier. Them understanding your motives, that you're not simply a brainwashed woke brat, will make your life easier.

[–] minorsecond@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know why they think the way they do, and it's brainwashing from being raised Christian. I was raised that way so I do understand the thought behind it, but it's so hard to have compassion for people who never care to try to understand people who don't believe in that. I'll try though.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

Aye. Understanding it doesn't make them easier to get along with.

My da has unprocessed trauma yet refuses to address it, saying that his mental illness is cured because of Jesus. And if I was a good Christian, I would be cured, too.

Like.... my dude: a big part of my mental illnesses stem from my upbringing with you, but okay.

[–] WexMajor@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

The days of trying to be understanding to the other side are long over.

[–] DarraignTheSane@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

But also know that understanding isn't always going to bring resolution. Sometimes all you come to understand is that the people who raised you are, in actuality, thoroughly racist.