this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
490 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12403 readers
2356 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

“It was hiding in the celery," said DEA Special Agent in Charge Robert Murphy. "Obviously, we threw away the celery. That didn’t make it to the store.”

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The agency had learned about a semitrailer coming across the Mexican border, and agents tracked the drugs to the farmers market, said DEA Special Agent in Charge Robert Murphy. The drugs were found inside the truck, he said.

“This was contained in a cover load of celery,”

So unfortunately not inside the celery itself, which would of course be significantly more fun :(

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Now I'm wondering if you could get celery to soak up a drug solution since it's so watery, then extract the drugs again later

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Or serve as a vehicle for bioaccumulation.

Mirepoix never was so amazing.

[–] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 3 months ago

I feel like that was the plot of an old Bond movie.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 1 points 3 months ago

I feel like you’re trying to get me to snort my vegetables.

[–] subtext@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I’m just imagining ants on a log, but the peanut butter is meth

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pretty crazy that imported food is finding it's way into a farmer's market in the first place. My local farmers market is pretty stringent on what is allowed and eant proof that your produce or wares were produced within 100 miles of the city.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

It was likely not the final selling point, just a convent place with lots of trucks and people to blend into. May have had one guy with a stall, but it was more likely a place to split it into other shipments.

[–] Poots@mander.xyz 5 points 3 months ago

Meth sprinkled celery would be quite a reinventing of the traditional ‘ants on a log’ recipe, anyway

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I'd like to return the headline please