this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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No no, OP, you see, how will I transport four fully grown corn-fed american patriots around?
A normal car?
No, I need to transport these four fully grown corn-fed american patriots while also transporting a bunch of material that I can't have in the cab of my car.
A trailer?
Don't be ridiculous, it's too heavy, a normal car couldn't tow that.
A slightly better car?
No, that's insane, it's much too heavy, and besides, I need to transport three metric tons of stuff, all outside of my vehicle, which means I need a trailer and I can't keep any of it in the back of my normal car.
A beefy cargo van, with a covered cabin, and a divider?
No, see, you simply don't understand, all my loads need to be uncovered. I'm transporting, uhh, loose gasoline? Not in a barrel, just loose in the bed, and 400 2x4s, and, uhh, gravel. I don't want a semi, because you need to be licensed for that and I would rather pay more to have a personal vehicle which is capable of all of this at once rather than pay for a delivery. I also need good ground clearance, because I'm going into the unpaved american wilderness with these large uncovered loads. I'm not antisocial, I just need to transport this to my off grid homesteading compound in the middle of nowhere, with my four platonic corn-fed american patriot roommates, or my fifteen sons and daughters which I've already pledged to my friends' other fifteen sons and daughters. How do I pay for all this? It's all super cheap, I swear, I'm just an honest normal rural farmer, and I work a normal job as a military defense contractor, or running IT for some wing of some megacorporation, or maybe I just have inherited money. Everyone wants to be me, but I'm the only person who's allowed to use this truck and say it's totally acceptable because this is a totally legitimate use and I'm just exercising my normal freedoms.
This is all normal, and fine.